"When Your Dream Evaporates"

0:24 This is Jimmy Nanette, and we are coming to you from the Bridge Church Studios. And we are happy to be here. This is episode number 109 after a short, brief nine -month layoff. Nine months. Only nine months. Only. Long enough to have a child, which we didn't. It was a long time. No, we did not. Nine months. Thank God. I was just thinking of gestation periods. We leave that to our children and grandchildren to have too. I know, come on. Not us. We're working on things, right? So anyway, good to have you back on the mic. I have missed you. I love Adam Curry. We've got a bro thing going. We're doing a podcast called We Get to Do This. We'll talk a little more about that later. And that's going good. We've got 41 episodes in the can on that. And really, the momentum is building. And we're going just strong. And we're going to actually look at what? Doing what? Having multiple shows during the week, which is going to be good. I thought this was getting me off the hook, so now I don't have to do this anymore. Well, you can probably tell I like doing this. I know you do. I love it. Okay, for the audience, most of the time he does not tell me what we're going to talk about, and that makes it very hard on me because Jimmy's really good off the cuff. You can just talk. Me and Adam are kind of wired that way.

1:37 You just hand us a mic. I'm not, so I did make him. Give me a list. I've got a list, a show notes list. Yes, you did. Thank you, Jesus. For living up in a down world. You listened to me. And I read it to you beforehand, which is a miracle. And so I'm happy about that. I just, I have to have a little bit of information, you know. I get it. I get it. I just don't do well off the cuff. You like to have, you like to know where things are going. That's just, you're wired that way. Well, I remember years ago we were asked to do a commercial and they were filming us. Oh, right. I remember that. I couldn't, I couldn't even do it because it was, they wanted us just to talk off the cuff. I don't even remember. It was, it had to do with foster care and I just froze. You know, you've seen those people on TV. Yeah, that was me. And so I'm not as good at that as you are. However, what's interesting though, and we've known this and anyone who's listened to us really knows this as well. Once you get behind a microphone and you sort of settle down, you just take off. Right. And then usually it's like, honey, can I say something? I'm raising my hand over here. Yeah, you're usually saying, Annette, you're talking too much. I have a thought.

2:43 Mind if I say something? You talk all the time. I do. It's what I do for a living. Yes, it is. Yeah, I know. I run my mouth for a living. And you start early in the morning. Depends on how much coffee I've had. I was up at four o 'clock this morning. I didn't get up, but I was praying and the Lord started downloading some things to me. So I was having one of those wild mornings with the Holy Spirit. Yes. But boy, I'm tired and I'm feeling it now. In the mornings, you don't talk to me until I have coffee. Right. So you got up and usually the routine has been. I'm sitting at my desk. I'm usually writing my daily grind. I was right in the middle of it this morning when you got up. That's my daily devotional. You walk right by me and just keep going. I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, come back, come back. Because you're ready to talk. You were having none of it. You were out of a dead sleep. Yes, yes. The dog woke me up out of a dead sleep. It's Saturday. No, it's not Saturday.

3:39 It's Friday. It's Friday, yeah. And it feels like Saturday because we were off yesterday because we couldn't. There was a major flood here. Okay, we should talk about that. Oh, my goodness. We were going to record yesterday at 9 o 'clock here at the studio. I was about to get in the shower so we could drive out here. And you got a text. Well, we were watching the news, and we knew it was bad. It had just been a deluge for just a day and a half. And they were having talks, or they were talking on the news, like the Weather Channel and local, saying this could be very dangerous. It could be very life -threatening. And then all of a sudden, our phones are going off, like those alarms, you know, just constantly.

4:19 All night, the night before, the day before. Yeah, National Weather Service updates. But you got a text from someone who lives off of the 87, which is where we live. And they said, it's impassable. It's impassable. You can't come. So was I upset? Was I crying? Was I upset? That we didn't have to come in here? No, actually, you were like, woohoo, day off. Give me an extra day. I was bummed because really, I was excited about doing this. I love our connection that we have with folks. I think I just need to get back in the groove. It's hard when you haven't done it in a long time. But you're doing great. You're rocking it. We only started over once. We did. Because you said a different word. I didn't like the word I used. I'm like, start over. Now, if it were Adam, he would say, nope, keep everything in. Keep it spinning. He never stops. No thanks, Adam. Never stops. So we've been, you know, just life's happening. We had several things come up. Of course, it's summer vacation, so that's always kind of weird. But even before that, we had a car incident. Just say what it is. You want to give the short version of it? So we had bought a new car. We bought a new car last year. It's our sixth one. Yeah, we've had several. We bought the same car over and over because we love it. We like Toyota.

5:33 We like Lexus Corporation. So what I did. Liked is the word. So let me just try to score some points here in public. So remember I said, I want you to get your dream car. You know, you've always settled for, and you go, oh, I really wish it had this. Well, it doesn't. Well, that's okay. We always end up disappointed, especially you. Because I want all the bells and whistles I can get. You like the bells and whistles. So you ordered this car, and they actually built it. You ordered it while they were building it. Which is never good to buy a brand new car. I'm just going to say. Dave Ramsey, I'm ashamed. No, you shouldn't be ashamed. I know he won't hear this podcast, but yeah, I should know better. We haven't bought a brand new car in years. I regret it now. We just decided to pull the trigger.

6:19 One last hurrah. Never do it again. Get the car of your dreams. You ordered color, everything. I mean, and it was a stunner. It was. It was RX 350. It was a hybrid. And it was gorgeous. I mean, and drove like a dream until one day you and I are driving into town to meet a bunch of friends from church for a gathering. I'm pulling up to a, after being on the highway, I'm coming to a stop. And just a few feet out, the car unintentionally accelerates. I mean, it just took off. And if there were a car in front of us, it would have hit that car. Fortunately, I had enough space. And I yelled, what are you doing? What's going on? I'm pretty quick on the draw with car stuff because I used to race motorcycles and grew up around all that stuff. So I kind of know what to do. And I pumped that brake three times. It didn't stop until the third time and it shut the engine down. And we both looked at each other, and you said, what just happened? Because I thought you were doing something stupid. Yeah, you thought I messed up. I know. I'm like, honey, I don't do stuff like that. But I was like, I did not do that. The car surged. And then we went on.

7:27 It seemed fine. We drove. You thought it was an anomaly. I did. So we went on to our thing, had a great time. The next week. Well, about 10 days later. It's 10 days later. April 1st. Yep. April Fool's Day. I'll never forget it. It was the day before my birthday. That doesn't help. That's salt in the wound. No. So you're pulling up to a parking place at our brand new Life Center that we just finished. That we were about to open to the public. Yeah, we had a grand opening planned. And what happened? When I put on the brakes. it surged right into the building yeah because you were literally four feet in front of the building when it happened because you were parking and it caused major damage we had to repair so much and the car the car this is what's so crazy is there was the the airbags didn't even deploy nothing deployed none of the bells and whistles that we paid a fortune for And the reason why I wanted this particular car, especially a new one, is for all the safety features that it has. And it shocked me that it happened.

8:33 And I ran in. Y 'all thought a bomb had hit the building is what I heard from several employees. It sounded like it because it literally moved the whole structure. Oh, the whole building moved. Because it's a metal building. It's a metal extension, a wing. I don't remember what the square footage is, but it's a good -sized wing because it's got two big classrooms, two offices, bathrooms, a kitchen. About 2 ,000. Is that about what it is? So it's a small house, and it moved the structure, and what we were hearing was that structure popping, that metal, that iron. Yes. I mean, literally me and Brian were meeting and we were like, did a meteor just hit the building? Did an airplane land short of the airport? Well, and it's close to Easter. And so there's a lot of unrest with pastors and congregations around Easter because you don't know about terrorism threats and all this. And so, I mean, Lori, she heard it from the other side of the building and she literally thought a bomb had hit. So the whole staff kind of just all came running in at one time and said, what just happened? And you're like. i don't know what happened i literally didn't say honey are you okay you ran right to the car i was in shock really i was totally in i was too because who hits a building but i was in a different i went into emt mode you know like all right make sure everybody's okay not just you everybody's anybody else involved in i mean i'm i've run through the assessment so that was my that's my first responder And we immediately got on.

9:58 I got on the calls to all of our insurance companies, our building and my auto insurance. You got on the phone with Lexus. I was on the phone. I made 21 calls in three hours to Lexus Corporation. And it didn't go anywhere. No. They just, they brushed it off. They blew it off and said. I did report it to the national federal traffic. administration but it's just logged in as a complaint and then they'll only look at it if like five others happen or others you know so we probably could have pursued a lawsuit but we just did not want to we just decided let's just don't mess nobody got hurt thank the lord we took it i'm just worried about the car i know and that was we told them that i mean but anyway long story short so we had a lot of repair to do on the building besides the car which it just got finished Last week. So here we are. Here we are in July. And nobody can park near the building.

10:55 Nobody can pull up to the building. I won't even get near the building now. But here's the good thing. You didn't get, no one got hurt. You didn't get hurt. It hurts your, I mean, just, I mean, it hurts your heart because this was your dream. The Life Center has been your baby, your dream. I know. And so for that to happen to you is kind of just irony. But anyway, you're okay. We just put a lot of stress on us for months. It was a lot of stress. We had to chase down phone calls. Trying to get Lexus. We did contact. We had to document everything with pictures and writing narratives. I mean, literally, it was insane. So anyway, that took up a gap of our life. It did. Maybe it took a few years off the end. We traded it in. We got rid of it. The good thing is. And we didn't even have to get it. auto place that we bought the the new car we didn't get new this time we had to use they traded it sight unseen and they went and picked it up from the collision place when it was complete and i mean we we lost money i mean we did it wasn't it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be so so we're okay that you know that was a that was the minor the most least worrisome part just just the safety of everything. There was no way I was going to go to the collision place, drive that car, even to Carvana or anywhere to get, to get rid of it. I just, the thought of even getting in that car, every time I saw one on the road, it literally, I just had this visceral reaction. Yeah. Yeah.

12:25 You had PTSD for a while. It was. Yeah. When our salesman said, Hey, you know what? we'll just go get it. We buy cars that have been in an accident all the time and we just go pick it up. It had 10 ,000 miles on it. It was brand new. So they knew what they were getting. And they were wonderful. So anyway, we got it all ironed out, but it did take a lot of just brain power. I mean, just emotional toll on us. So we got through all that. Hallelujah. We were living up in a down world in the middle of it, even though we had our days, right? It was hard. It was hard, yeah. It was very stressful. It just felt so unjust. It just felt unfair. Yeah, I think if Lexus would have said, you know what? We're going to take care of you. We're going to take care of the repairs. Yeah, we'll buy the car back. We'll buy the car back, whatever.

13:07 They should have done that. They didn't do anything. I will never buy another Lexus. Nope. Yeah, that's our, yeah, never again. So, yeah. It's sad. We had six. Five are great. The one nearly killed you. So we're not doing that. But anyway, moving on. But you know what? Here's the thing. Someone's going to have that car, and I've prayed. We have prayed. I have prayed that the Lord will protect that person, that it was an anomaly, that it won't happen. They checked. They did have someone come out from Lexus and look. And said it looks fine to them. But we'll, you know, because I wouldn't wish this upon anybody. Wouldn't wish that on anybody. So buildings out now. So we've got the Life Center, which that's a building that we built. It was a dream to build something that wanted to help families that had children with special needs because those families don't get to come to church. I mean, they just they can't connect with the body because most churches, 88 percent or 92 percent of churches are not equipped to handle children with special needs.

14:09 And and it's a big undertaking. I mean, we've. gone through a lot. We've spent a lot. We've raised a lot of money because we feel like this is important for families. To be able to come to church and be a part of the body of Christ. And not worry about their children. They need a faith community to connect with. And their children are going to be getting taught by trained teachers who most of them have degrees in that area. Exactly. Which is beautiful because we've got people who've just stepped up. We've got a good group of people. In fact, they met this week and they're getting excited, getting ready. Yeah, they had a meeting this week. I think we're having an open house in two weeks. Yeah, it's wonderful. Awesome, awesome stuff. So that's the Life Center. Then our summer vacation, we took it in June. June, we take a month off because we're 64 years old and we're not going to retire, but we are taking our time. We used to not, we used to just for years, we didn't even take vacations.

14:58 We'd tack on a couple extra days to a conference or something, but that's still work. So now after our sabbatical three years ago, we're like, nope, we're going to do this. This was suggested by our coach, our sabbatical coach said, now that your church knows you can do it and you can make it without, you should run all your. vacation together and do it all in one month so we do that take a few days here and there as we need to but but more it's better for us to because it really does take a good two weeks to to really calm yourself down and get you know to where you're rested and then you feel like and a lot of times you just start to feel that and it's time to go back to leading a church is different because You're not an owner, but you feel like an owner. You're responsible. You're a steward of God's property and God's people. And so it takes a heavy emotional toll. In fact, I was looking recently at Howard Payne University where I went to college, and literally I was looking through all the pictures online. You can pull up all those old, what do they call them, yearbooks.

16:03 And they're all online now. Really? Yeah, it's crazy. A little scary because I was looking. Oh, is it that long ago? Oh, what were you thinking? What were you thinking? So anyway, I was looking at pictures and I was looking at all the ministerial students that I went to school with. I actually did that. It was my watch. So that I went to school with and I only counted a couple that are still in ministry. I mean, out of, you know, 60 something students who came in as freshmen. Saying, I'm going to be a pastor. I'm going to be a youth minister. I'm going to be a worship leader. Wow. I mean, literally, I put it on my one hand. Wow. And it really hit me. But our goal has been to go the long, play the long game.

16:43 And that means we've got to be wise about taking care of ourselves. Right. And need to take that time off. So we took, last year, we took July off. Right. And this year. There was a big flood last July. So we thought, oh, well, let's do it in June. And you know what? It worked out. If we would have taken July, we'd have another flood. We'd have another one to deal with. So because it kind of just, I mean, we couldn't not say anything, just be quiet. We had to be involved. So anyway, that was last year. This year we took June and it was wonderful. We had a great time. We took a few weeks to be at home and just staycation and just breathe and kind of wind down. And then, and workout. We hit the gym. We're back. Man, we're probably as fit as we've ever been and strong as we've ever been really in our whole life because we're just all in. And then we went out to Sarasota, Florida.

17:33 And that was wonderful. We had never been. That was amazing. It's stunning. It is really beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Of course, it's on the Gulf of America side. I love saying that. You do. Except all the signs still say Gulf of Mexico. No, no. Y 'all need to catch up. Why haven't they changed those? I don't know. They need to, though. But anyway, so we stayed on the Gulf of... Anybody who's been to the Florida beaches on the Gulf side, they're just beautiful beaches. Really good sand. We love going to Florida. It's our favorite. I know. It's kind of home away from home. Like Nashville's home away from home. We're not going to live there, but we are going to travel there when we can. No, but we're going to enjoy it when we can. We got a lot of friends there, too. So we had a great time. But we did have an incident happen. before um this was really hard and this is what i really want to get into because i want to talk about when things happen that are out of our control and how do you handle it spiritually okay let's go you know what i'm talking about No, we have so many. Faith. Right.

18:33 What happened with Faith? Right. So tell that story. Well, Faith is our daughter who's 25, almost 26. Because we have a dog, Mr. Chevy story too. He's alive though. He's okay. Oh, I forgot about that story. But anyway, that kind of coincides with this. No, about a week or two before our trip, Faith had found out that she was pregnant and she's been trying to get pregnant for over two years. She's been in fertility treatments. not doing IVF or anything, but just trying to take medication to get pregnant. She's never going to do the other because she's just, she doesn't, they don't have the funds to be able to do anything like that. And so she took a pregnancy test at one point, and it was negative. And then a few weeks later, took a pregnancy test again, and it was positive. And she was shocked. We were shocked. It was on the day they were moving.

19:27 And they were moving in from their house to an apartment because they're building a house out in comfort close to us. And I'm standing there in the kitchen and we're about to be moving stuff. And I'm like, you can't do anything. She's like, I'm not, I'm not going to do anything. I'm not going to pick up anything. You know, I know better. I know better. And I'm like, okay, okay. So everything's good. She's all excited. She's kind of careful who she's telling. And we go on vacation. And when we get back, she gets put in the hospital because she's not feeling well. Or did she go in the hospital before our time? She was in there a couple of times. But anyway, long story short, they thought she was miscarrying, and she thought she was miscarrying. She was having some challenges there. But her HCG levels, which is what the labs are that tell you you're pregnant, They were going up, which means you're pregnant. Indicates pregnancy. And she thought she was miscarriage because she had a UTI. And she didn't. But then all of a sudden, when she went back to the doctor the following week, they went down and said that she was. And then they said, well, if you're going to try to get pregnant again, we've got to get your HCG level down to zero so that you can get pregnant. And so she was going in every few days. Started going back up. So the doctors were just shocked. They were like, okay. It did

20:58 not make sense. Nothing made sense. Even the doctor. Even the doctor said. In her 21 years of doing this had never. Never seen this. Seen this. So Faith kind of. That's the thing you don't want to hear from a doctor. She thought, well, maybe she's having twins and she lost one and the other one is growing. But that wasn't the case. They ended up because they couldn't find it on the ultrasound and they needed to do an MRI. She could not get an MRI because no one would do it while she was pregnant. I don't understand that business. But anyway, they ended up having to go in and do emergency surgery, and she did have an ectopic pregnancy. That was one of the hardest things she's ever been through, but we have been through with her. Right. Because they ended up having to cut her tube. Luckily, she has another tube that's just fine, but they had to cut. that tube out. It was filled with blood and tissue, and the other one was filled with blood. They were able to clean that out.

21:53 And she's recuperating right now. But the hardest thing for me is our little girl has autism. It's not – she's very high functional. High functioning, yeah. Only because we didn't know until she was 18 that she had autism. But this little girl has always wanted to have a baby her whole life. And then this happens. And the first thing she said to the doctor is when she got out of the surgery, am I going to be able to have a child? And the doctor said, yes, this will not impede your progress to have a child. So but the thing is, is I was even questioning God on this. I was like, God, really, of all the people, this little girl that we have is the most sensitive.

22:40 beautiful little girl she i still call her a little girl she's 26 no she's 25 honey not yet not till september she'll be 26 my bad but the thing is is she is she's not she's special and she's a very sensitive girl when you have autism too you're everything is black and white so it's You're either in a high or low. I mean, there's so many challenges that people have. A lot of anxiety comes with that. And I remember going into the office our first week, coming back. And she had the surgery during our first week of coming back to work from our vacation. And Renee Pennington's here. She is one of our counselors.

23:24 or our counselor that we have at this church for our members. And I just went in, she was kind of in between patients. And I was like, I need your help because I'm having a hard time. I'm asking God, why did this happen to her? Makes me think of, we have a listener and I'm not going to say her name, but she's a listener and comes to our church. And she has a daughter and son -in -law who've been trying to get pregnant for years. Couldn't, they've been Now they're going through adoption and they've had five adoptions fall through. And some of them were scammed. I mean, and I think, how do they keep going? And, you know, at first, when I very first heard about what was happening with her, it was like, God, really? And then the next time someone would say, we're choosing you. And it looked all good.

24:17 And then last minute fell apart. But you know what? We can't determine what the outcome is. Only God can. And when I was talking to Renee about faith and saying of all the people, why did this have to happen to her? I'm sure many moms and dads and friends have said, God, why? Oh, yeah. And I've had to even her and I both sat there. We held each other's hands and we just prayed and said, God, we don't understand. We don't understand. But we know you do. You're with her during this process. There's a reason we may not ever find out the side of heaven. But I had to let that go and say, God, your will, no matter what. The cool thing is. When I was at church Sunday, and Faith, she had surgery on Wednesday, a week ago Wednesday. She was at church on Sunday working, kind of overdid it.

25:14 She said all she does, she just can't, she has to sit down. She can't move around, but it's hard for her because sitting too long is hard on her too. But she decided to come, and I went over to her, and I just hugged her. She's hard to hug because she's not a hugger because she's, you know. You don't just touch people. Just sensitivity. Very sensitive. Sensory issues. That's what I meant to say. Sensory issues. And so I was talking with her and she said, Mom, I was sharing the dream that you had. You had a dream last week. I did. About us losing her. I'm going to preach on that dream. You are. I know. I can't wait to hear it Sunday. And I was telling her about that dream and she stopped me and she said, You know, Mom, this is... Every mom wants to hear this. If you're a godly Christian mom, you want to hear this. She said, while I was going through this this week, I had to realize that this was not in my control. I could not handle this. The only thing I could do is give it to God. And that was all I needed to hear. But I had to do that first. I had to do it. And I did it with...

26:27 But to hear Faith say that, because I've been praying, God, please give her peace through this. A lot of young women who go through something like this, and like I said, she's prayed for a child. She even told God when she thought she was miscarrying, please don't let me miscarry. I will love this baby more than anybody in this world. And it still happened. But a lot of people tend to walk away from God or the church. You know that. And we've seen that when something devastating happens. And to hear those words her first Sunday back, no, Mom, I had to just give it to God. There it is. That was like huge.

27:12 I just started crying when she told me that. And then she said this, and this surprised me. She said, Mom, next time we have a women's meeting, can I just share? I want to share, she said, because a lot of... People I know, I guess she's on social media a lot, will talk about maybe they'll say something that happened, like they had a miscarriage or whatever, but then they have another baby, and so they don't really talk about what the pain was that they went through because they don't want to relive it. She said, I want to talk about the pain because people need to know that pain is real. And just because God may give me another child doesn't mean that pain just goes away and you just forget that you even had a child. That was so mature of her.

27:57 I said, absolutely, Faith. Absolutely. What she's doing is she's saying, I don't want this to be wasted. Yes. You know, I don't want this to just go away. Yes. And then someday, maybe we'll talk about it two decades from now. You know, and it's just still a painful memory. Instead, she wants to leverage this pain for good. Absolutely. That makes me so proud as a father because those are the things we've tried to teach because we haven't always had it easy. We've had things and we've talked about it on our podcast. We've been very transparent. A lot of our stuff, you know, we just don't hide our scars. And because of that very reason. And so I love that that was her response. It wasn't. I'm going to go crawl in a hole. Now, she's grieving. I mean, it's real. She's still grieving. It's hard. And hurting. And I've told them, you need to grieve.

28:46 And we've had to tell our staff, you know, if you need her to get some work done, go through us. Because we don't want a bunch of people contacting her. Having her do all this and her feel that, you know, stress when we can go to her one person and say, hey, can you do this or walk me through how to do this or whatever? Because obviously we're not in 100 percent work mode yet at all. And but we are allowing her obviously to work at home because it's easier for her. But yes, we we have to be very sensitive to her right now because this is a trying time. But. No, this person that's one of our listeners and you go to our church and I know you're going to listen to this. I want you to know that while we were going through this, I was thinking about you and your daughter and son -in -law who have lost, I think, five adoptions. And I'm still praying that God's going to come through. And I want you to know that I have not forgotten you either.

29:46 And we saw that the last adoption that fell through. was recently, I think it was while we were on vacation. And I don't know if she would want her name put out there or not. So I'm not going to say anything, but I want you to know I've been praying for y 'all too, because it affects when somebody goes through something like this, it doesn't just affect you, the person that's going through it. It affects your family. It affects your friends. Oh, it does. Because grief is real. I mean, people like to ignore grief thinking, well, it'll eventually fizzle. It'll eventually go away. But you have to walk right into it head on. I learned that the hard way because I was a delayed griever. You know what I mean? You are. I'm a typical man. Well, even when we were going through this and I was crying and you were like not and you were just like going about your business. And then the next day I walk in and you're bawling and you're like.

30:39 It just takes me a while to process. It does. I've got to process it. And two, I tend to be, again, being raised by a first responder. I'm real level -headed in a crisis. And then when I know everyone— That's what it is. You're raised by a first responder, so you had to learn that. I was raised in a firefighter culture, and so you've got to do what you do in the moment. That's not the time to grieve in the middle of the tragedy. And so growing up that way, I'm wired that way. I'm the opposite. There's even been times where you thought I didn't care about something. I said, this has nothing to do with whether I care or not. Trust me, the wave is coming. Yes, and it does. And when it does, it's bigger than my grief. I mean, it's like. It builds. You're, yeah. Because you're sensitive at that point.

31:22 It's not that I'm fighting it. It's literally that I'm making sure everybody's okay. It's the pastor in me. It's the first responder in me. I wanted to make sure everybody's. Okay. Got their feet on the ground. Are we all together? It's what a shepherd does with the sheep. I'm shepherding and I shepherd my family. And so as the man of the family, so in the head of the home. So once everybody's okay, it's like I have permission to, and it always sneaks up on me. Yeah. And it does. And it hits. At the most inopportune times. I remember you said you were in. class in college. Oh yeah. And all of a sudden you're looking down and you have tears falling down on your paper. I didn't even know what that was.

32:03 Didn't even know what it was, but you were grieving the loss of your mother from months before. Not months. Oh. A few weeks at that time. So that was, that was the first wave. Yeah. Wow. So that's, so that's normal for me. So that's why I wouldn't, I know you're, you're like, I can't believe this. And I'm like, trust me, it's coming. Well, in my mind though, in my mind as a woman, I'm thinking, You don't understand because you're not a woman, but it's. you're still not that at all. It wasn't that at all. So I, that's what I was thinking. I have to make sure everyone's okay. And men will understand this and some moms too, but that's something I think God puts in men and it looks like we don't care now. And it can be unhealthy in terms of pushing it off too far. And then sometimes, and I've done that too. So where I'm like, put it too far away. Right. And I've, I've had to sit with so many people, you know, Having a funeral meeting, a pre -service funeral meeting where I'm interviewing a family, especially if I didn't know the person. Right. And I'm just trying to pull memories out of them and tell me what you would want people to know, what made you laugh, you know, what just blew, what made you frustrated yet you're laughing about it now.

33:13 You know, those kinds of things about people. And I always tell that family, in case no one has told you, permission to grieve. inevitably somebody loses it in that room at that point. You can see the tears flow because sometimes people just need permission to hurt. There's power in acknowledging and revealing pain. You can't live there. But you do need to acknowledge it. And I do know people, the sad thing is that some people can't get past it. Some people don't want to. They feel guilty if they get past it. I should always feel remorseful. Because they think that if they get past it, that means it didn't mean anything to begin with. And it doesn't.

33:54 It's not true at all. And for a Christian. This is what Renee and I were talking about too. Gosh, I can't even imagine if you don't have Jesus, how do you get through anything? We have a helper, the Holy Spirit. He's our comforter, our teacher. Jesus said, I will send another helper in my place. And that word is paraclete, which means the one called alongside to help. That's what I was talking to him at four o 'clock this morning in bed. I was talking to the helper. was about that, those kinds of things, but thanking him for being a helper and all that. So for those that are listening, I mean, everybody's at different places on the grief spectrum. I mean, some that have not really resolved it are still, they can't even talk about some memories because it's still, it's too there. It's too, too painful. And God knows, listen to the scripture. I looked this up while you were sharing and appreciate that.

34:55 Psalm 34, 18 says this in the NIV, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The word save literally in the Hebrew, it means rescues. He rescues you out of that. And he comes to, to, to wrap himself around you. Speaking of first responders, it's like you're in a car that's turned over. You've been laying there for hours. You're bleeding out, and you think nobody cares. And then you see a headlight on a helmet, and it's a first responder coming. They say, we've got you. You're going to be okay. We've got you. We'll get you out of here. This is why we like all the shows with first responders. We do. I do like those kind of shows because I grew up around guys like that. In fact, I walked over to some guys in the gym today. From Conroe. Conroe, Texas. They came up here to help. I had Conroe Rescue on the back of their shirts. They came to work out.

35:48 And I walked over to them and said, hey, guys, are y 'all here to help with the flood? They said, yeah, we are. I said, I just want to say thank you for being here. Thanks for helping us. You have such a hard work. I appreciate that. I do. I just do. And you almost became a firefighter yourself. Yeah, almost did. I'm kind of glad that didn't work out. Well, me and a bunch of guys, there was a. That's a story for another time. It involved a lawsuit. Yes. Class action lawsuit. But it was because God had a different trajectory. No, I had a different path. Yeah. God had a different path for me. But I'll never not love and appreciate those who put their lives on the line for us and don't get paid nearly enough to do it. Well, I remember we were in a Bernie at the grocery store a few weeks ago and there was a emergency. It was a man. He was.

36:40 He was a policeman? Police officer. Is that what he was? Yeah, he had his vest on. And I tried to buy his groceries, and he wouldn't let me. Well, we had seen him earlier in the store, and we both walked over to him and said, thank you for what you do. Thank you for what you do. And he said, thank you. I said, how's your day been? It's been so hard. He said, it's been rough. He said, I've already had a bad day. It was during Pride Month. Yeah, and they had a Pride parade. They had a protest or parade. He said it was awful. He said it was horrific. We just happened to be behind him in line, and I literally felt like the Lord said to do it. But maybe it was not because he was going to accept it, but just to see if I would be obedient. I didn't even care how much. I mean, obviously I do, but I was like, Lord, okay. And I heard it in my...

37:25 Well, you went over and did it before I even knew what you were doing. I just saw you talking to him. And I just said, I want to pay for this. And he was like, no, please give it to someone who really is in need. I am not in need. I'm taken care of. And I said, okay. But that's just one more reason I love you. The checker, the one that was checking us out, she goes. Thank you for that. That was awesome. Maybe it was just to show her that there are still kind people in this world, you know? Yeah, here's my response to that. I was like, why are you looking over there? You're looking for a... Yes, that was a good response. But it felt good to do that. um, and want to help someone. But now I know I have to keep my antenna for those that are in need. Well, that, that got us a little off of our story, but we were talking about grief and people, you know, hurting and whatnot. And then we segued into that, but, uh, delayed grief and the heart of a first responder. So, but for you, I want to read that scripture again, because that's, that is the Lord's heart for you. If you're listening today, there's a reason why you're listening. It's not just because, oh, I heard Jimmy and I did an episode or maybe you stumbled onto this. Maybe you're from another country because we did get a lot of listeners from other countries. Crazy, yes. Listen to this again. It's out of the Bible, Psalm 3418. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. and saves those who are crushed in spirit. And there's nothing like grief. It's soul crushing. It's spirit crushing. And the thing I tell people

38:58 that are going through grief, not only from personal experience, but also from my training, is that when you're in it, you feel like you will never not be in it. You'll feel like this is for the rest of my life. You think I'm going to feel this way from now on. I will feel like this from now on. There's only a handful of people do that. And that's a choice. And unfortunately, where they become instead of victims, they become volunteers. And that's another story for another time. It's a dynamic. But you will not always feel that way. And there is hope and there is healing because the Lord is close to you when your heart is broken and he wants to rescue and save you out of that. I love that. Isn't that beautiful? God's so good.

39:40 I hope this helps our listeners sometimes just. I think there's not enough pastors that are transparent and will share the good, the bad, and the ugly. And that was why we were always drawn to the pastors that did and said, if we ever pastor again, Lord, which now it's been a while. But back in the day, we want to be transparent. We want to show people that we believe just like them. Um, hope we have, we have Jesus and we never want, I mean, I got mad at God. I did. I got mad. I was like, God, I am mad. I'm mad. Exactly. And I, but I know I can't stay there and it's like, okay, God, I'm just venting this.

40:24 I'm telling Renee, this is how I feel, but now I need to get over it. And I need you to help give me that peace. And he gave it to me that Sunday morning. Because I talked to her on Thursday. And by Sunday, I had that. And I was like, God, you're so good. He's so good in spite of everything. Even all the loss with the Lexus. I mean, we lost a lot. But you know what? God is still good no matter what. No matter what. Living up in a down world. That's right. We want you to have that hope. Living up in a down world, the mentality of that, and then the other show I'm doing now with Adam Curry. We get to do this. We get to do this. The mentality there, both of those things are things I came up with at some point where that's a philosophy of life. It's a way of seeing life. It's seeing life through a biblical lens, a biblical worldview where you go, okay. Things do get hard. Bad things do happen. We live in a fallen world. What should we expect? Now we don't go around waiting for the next shoe to drop, but we just know when things happen. There will be the end. I mean, when you walk through the valley of the shadow of death of Psalm 23, it says you'll fear no evil. Why? Because he is with you. His rod and his staff comfort us.

41:45 So we're never alone, even in the darkest, even when you are mad. I don't know what you said to him. Unfortunately, it wasn't too bad. He didn't get electrocuted. No, lightning didn't strike. He's a good father, and like a good father, he can take it. And then he walks you out of it. His staff, it's there. He's helping. So we want to encourage you, first of all, acknowledge the pain. If you're going through something right now, we may be saying living up in a down world, but that doesn't mean you don't have pain. It's actually a choice you make in the pain to say no matter how hard it gets, no matter, God is still good. God is still good, and he's got a plan for my life, no matter what it looks like now. Because we had plenty of chances through our lifetime to give up, quit, walk away. Never have. And just say, no, no way. I ain't got time for that. So we didn't do that. And I'm so thankful looking back on various things that happened.

42:45 That we didn't quit. Yeah, absolutely. So anyway, new podcast coming. I mean, it's happening. We're already in episode 41. You can find it on any of the platforms that are out there. We get to do this with Adam Curry and Jimmy Pruitt. It was hard to find the other day. I was helping a gentleman find it. I could have found it in a nanosecond. I know. I was on his Google. I could have done it easily. There is another podcast called We Get to Do This, but it's not Adam and Jimmy. It's Adam and Jimmy. One easy way to find it is to download the Godcaster. The Godcaster is a full service. app that's got 24 -7 Christian music on it. It's got daily grinds. It's got all kinds of podcasts that we, and you can populate it with your podcasts as well. It's super simple to work and operate. Just go to your app store and download the Godcaster. Or you can go on Bridge Church, fbg .com and download the Godcaster.

43:46 we get to do this also check out our website not a lot of movement in the last nine months because we haven't been on it but i will be uploading this podcast to that and so check it out and if you haven't never subscribed to us subscribe and get on our mailing list we've got about 300 on our sub stack And a lot of those, I hope, will also start listening to We Get to Do This. That's where Adam and I actually, Adam's the king of culture. He knows what's going on in the world. And we do a lot of hot takes where he'll just pitch something. He'll play a clip from the news. And then I give my biblical worldview. Hot off the press, hot take on it. And it's fascinating.

44:26 We get to bring scripture into the things that are happening in the world around us and bring biblical solutions because we don't have a political problem in this world. We have a spiritual problem and that's how we want to handle it. So do check that out on the Godcaster or your favorite platform. So, and two, just big thanks. I just wrote down in my notes, I'm following the show note list. You should be proud of me. Thanks to those who have been patient and stayed with us as subscribers. And those, James Barron, Julie Herbert, Steve Wise, Bill Mumford, or William Mumford. There's been several that have given over time, even without us doing podcasts recently. Thank you so much. We really appreciate that. And we'll keep you up to speed on what's happening with We Get to Do This, because we are moving that to a... almost full -time gig i mean it's going to be like substantial websites being built out right now we actually formed an llc so it's actually a real deal legit we'll be on sub stack so we'll let you know when that happens i'll send out an email to everybody so yeah get on our email list go living up in the down world .com and check subscribe and that's it's that simple we love you guys anything you want to say on the as we roll out of here felt good yeah as much as i Push back. It actually felt good. Welcome back. Thank you. You're a natural. Oh, wow. Yeah.

45:54 Awesome. Only because it's with you. Oh, wrong one. Here we go. I can't. That's my heart. Oh, your heart's beat. Oh, is that right? That's exactly what happened. Wow. We love you. We're out of here. Keep living up in a down world.