"When Your Dream Evaporates"

WEBVTT

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This is Jimmy Nanette, and we are coming to you

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from the Bridge Church Studios. And we are happy

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to be here. This is episode number 109 after

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a short, brief nine -month layoff. Nine months.

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Only nine months. Only. Long enough to have a

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child, which we didn't. It was a long time. No,

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we did not. Nine months. Thank God. I was just

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thinking of gestation periods. We leave that

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to our children and grandchildren to have too.

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I know, come on. Not us. We're working on things,

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right? So anyway, good to have you back on the

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mic. I have missed you. I love Adam Curry. We've

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got a bro thing going. We're doing a podcast

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called We Get to Do This. We'll talk a little

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more about that later. And that's going good.

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We've got 41 episodes in the can on that. And

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really, the momentum is building. And we're going

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just strong. And we're going to actually look

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at what? Doing what? Having multiple shows during

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the week, which is going to be good. I thought

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this was getting me off the hook, so now I don't

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have to do this anymore. Well, you can probably

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tell I like doing this. I know you do. I love

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it. Okay, for the audience, most of the time

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he does not tell me what we're going to talk

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about, and that makes it very hard on me because

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Jimmy's really good off the cuff. You can just

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talk. Me and Adam are kind of wired that way.

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You just hand us a mic. I'm not, so I did make

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him. Give me a list. I've got a list, a show

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notes list. Yes, you did. Thank you, Jesus. For

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living up in a down world. You listened to me.

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And I read it to you beforehand, which is a miracle.

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And so I'm happy about that. I just, I have to

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have a little bit of information, you know. I

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get it. I get it. I just don't do well off the

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cuff. You like to have, you like to know where

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things are going. That's just, you're wired that

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way. Well, I remember years ago we were asked

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to do a commercial and they were filming us.

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Oh, right. I remember that. I couldn't, I couldn't

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even do it because it was, they wanted us just

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to talk off the cuff. I don't even remember.

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It was, it had to do with foster care and I just

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froze. You know, you've seen those people on

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TV. Yeah, that was me. And so I'm not as good

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at that as you are. However, what's interesting

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though, and we've known this and anyone who's

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listened to us really knows this as well. Once

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you get behind a microphone and you sort of settle

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down, you just take off. Right. And then usually

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it's like, honey, can I say something? I'm raising

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my hand over here. Yeah, you're usually saying,

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Annette, you're talking too much. I have a thought.

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Mind if I say something? You talk all the time.

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I do. It's what I do for a living. Yes, it is.

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Yeah, I know. I run my mouth for a living. And

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you start early in the morning. Depends on how

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much coffee I've had. I was up at four o 'clock

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this morning. I didn't get up, but I was praying

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and the Lord started downloading some things

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to me. So I was having one of those wild mornings

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with the Holy Spirit. Yes. But boy, I'm tired

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and I'm feeling it now. In the mornings, you

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don't talk to me until I have coffee. Right.

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So you got up and usually the routine has been.

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I'm sitting at my desk. I'm usually writing my

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daily grind. I was right in the middle of it

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this morning when you got up. That's my daily

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devotional. You walk right by me and just keep

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going. I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, come back,

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come back. Because you're ready to talk. You

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were having none of it. You were out of a dead

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sleep. Yes, yes. The dog woke me up out of a

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dead sleep. It's Saturday. No, it's not Saturday.

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It's Friday. It's Friday, yeah. And it feels

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like Saturday because we were off yesterday because

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we couldn't. There was a major flood here. Okay,

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we should talk about that. Oh, my goodness. We

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were going to record yesterday at 9 o 'clock

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here at the studio. I was about to get in the

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shower so we could drive out here. And you got

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a text. Well, we were watching the news, and

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we knew it was bad. It had just been a deluge

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for just a day and a half. And they were having

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talks, or they were talking on the news, like

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the Weather Channel and local, saying this could

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be very dangerous. It could be very life -threatening.

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And then all of a sudden, our phones are going

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off, like those alarms, you know, just constantly.

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All night, the night before, the day before.

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Yeah, National Weather Service updates. But you

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got a text from someone who lives off of the

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87, which is where we live. And they said, it's

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impassable. It's impassable. You can't come.

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So was I upset? Was I crying? Was I upset? That

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we didn't have to come in here? No, actually,

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you were like, woohoo, day off. Give me an extra

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day. I was bummed because really, I was excited

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about doing this. I love our connection that

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we have with folks. I think I just need to get

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back in the groove. It's hard when you haven't

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done it in a long time. But you're doing great.

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You're rocking it. We only started over once.

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We did. Because you said a different word. I

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didn't like the word I used. I'm like, start

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over. Now, if it were Adam, he would say, nope,

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keep everything in. Keep it spinning. He never

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stops. No thanks, Adam. Never stops. So we've

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been, you know, just life's happening. We had

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several things come up. Of course, it's summer

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vacation, so that's always kind of weird. But

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even before that, we had a car incident. Just

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say what it is. You want to give the short version

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of it? So we had bought a new car. We bought

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a new car last year. It's our sixth one. Yeah,

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we've had several. We bought the same car over

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and over because we love it. We like Toyota.

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We like Lexus Corporation. So what I did. Liked

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is the word. So let me just try to score some

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points here in public. So remember I said, I

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want you to get your dream car. You know, you've

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always settled for, and you go, oh, I really

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wish it had this. Well, it doesn't. Well, that's

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okay. We always end up disappointed, especially

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you. Because I want all the bells and whistles

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I can get. You like the bells and whistles. So

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you ordered this car, and they actually built

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it. You ordered it while they were building it.

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Which is never good to buy a brand new car. I'm

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just going to say. Dave Ramsey, I'm ashamed.

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No, you shouldn't be ashamed. I know he won't

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hear this podcast, but yeah, I should know better.

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We haven't bought a brand new car in years. I

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regret it now. We just decided to pull the trigger.

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One last hurrah. Never do it again. Get the car

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of your dreams. You ordered color, everything.

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I mean, and it was a stunner. It was. It was

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RX 350. It was a hybrid. And it was gorgeous.

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I mean, and drove like a dream until one day

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you and I are driving into town to meet a bunch

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of friends from church for a gathering. I'm pulling

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up to a, after being on the highway, I'm coming

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to a stop. And just a few feet out, the car unintentionally

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accelerates. I mean, it just took off. And if

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there were a car in front of us, it would have

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hit that car. Fortunately, I had enough space.

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And I yelled, what are you doing? What's going

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on? I'm pretty quick on the draw with car stuff

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because I used to race motorcycles and grew up

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around all that stuff. So I kind of know what

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to do. And I pumped that brake three times. It

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didn't stop until the third time and it shut

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the engine down. And we both looked at each other,

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and you said, what just happened? Because I thought

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you were doing something stupid. Yeah, you thought

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I messed up. I know. I'm like, honey, I don't

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do stuff like that. But I was like, I did not

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do that. The car surged. And then we went on.

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It seemed fine. We drove. You thought it was

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an anomaly. I did. So we went on to our thing,

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had a great time. The next week. Well, about

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10 days later. It's 10 days later. April 1st.

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Yep. April Fool's Day. I'll never forget it.

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It was the day before my birthday. That doesn't

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help. That's salt in the wound. No. So you're

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pulling up to a parking place at our brand new

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Life Center that we just finished. That we were

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about to open to the public. Yeah, we had a grand

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opening planned. And what happened? When I put

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on the brakes. it surged right into the building

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yeah because you were literally four feet in

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front of the building when it happened because

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you were parking and it caused major damage we

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had to repair so much and the car the car this

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is what's so crazy is there was the the airbags

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didn't even deploy nothing deployed none of the

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bells and whistles that we paid a fortune for

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And the reason why I wanted this particular car,

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especially a new one, is for all the safety features

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that it has. And it shocked me that it happened.

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And I ran in. Y 'all thought a bomb had hit the

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building is what I heard from several employees.

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It sounded like it because it literally moved

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the whole structure. Oh, the whole building moved.

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Because it's a metal building. It's a metal extension,

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a wing. I don't remember what the square footage

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is, but it's a good -sized wing because it's

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got two big classrooms, two offices, bathrooms,

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a kitchen. About 2 ,000. Is that about what it

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is? So it's a small house, and it moved the structure,

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and what we were hearing was that structure popping,

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that metal, that iron. Yes. I mean, literally

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me and Brian were meeting and we were like, did

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a meteor just hit the building? Did an airplane

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land short of the airport? Well, and it's close

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to Easter. And so there's a lot of unrest with

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pastors and congregations around Easter because

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you don't know about terrorism threats and all

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this. And so, I mean, Lori, she heard it from

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the other side of the building and she literally

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thought a bomb had hit. So the whole staff kind

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of just all came running in at one time and said,

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what just happened? And you're like. i don't

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know what happened i literally didn't say honey

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are you okay you ran right to the car i was in

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shock really i was totally in i was too because

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who hits a building but i was in a different

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i went into emt mode you know like all right

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make sure everybody's okay not just you everybody's

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anybody else involved in i mean i'm i've run

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through the assessment so that was my that's

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my first responder And we immediately got on.

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I got on the calls to all of our insurance companies,

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our building and my auto insurance. You got on

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the phone with Lexus. I was on the phone. I made

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21 calls in three hours to Lexus Corporation.

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And it didn't go anywhere. No. They just, they

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brushed it off. They blew it off and said. I

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did report it to the national federal traffic.

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administration but it's just logged in as a complaint

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and then they'll only look at it if like five

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others happen or others you know so we probably

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could have pursued a lawsuit but we just did

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not want to we just decided let's just don't

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mess nobody got hurt thank the lord we took it

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i'm just worried about the car i know and that

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was we told them that i mean but anyway long

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story short so we had a lot of repair to do on

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the building besides the car which it just got

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finished Last week. So here we are. Here we are

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in July. And nobody can park near the building.

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Nobody can pull up to the building. I won't even

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get near the building now. But here's the good

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thing. You didn't get, no one got hurt. You didn't

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get hurt. It hurts your, I mean, just, I mean,

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it hurts your heart because this was your dream.

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The Life Center has been your baby, your dream.

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I know. And so for that to happen to you is kind

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of just irony. But anyway, you're okay. We just

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put a lot of stress on us for months. It was

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a lot of stress. We had to chase down phone calls.

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Trying to get Lexus. We did contact. We had to

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document everything with pictures and writing

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narratives. I mean, literally, it was insane.

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So anyway, that took up a gap of our life. It

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did. Maybe it took a few years off the end. We

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traded it in. We got rid of it. The good thing

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is. And we didn't even have to get it. auto place

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that we bought the the new car we didn't get

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new this time we had to use they traded it sight

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unseen and they went and picked it up from the

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collision place when it was complete and i mean

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we we lost money i mean we did it wasn't it wasn't

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as bad as i thought it would be so so we're okay

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that you know that was a that was the minor the

00:12:05.830 --> 00:12:09.840
most least worrisome part just just the safety

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of everything. There was no way I was going to

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go to the collision place, drive that car, even

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to Carvana or anywhere to get, to get rid of

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it. I just, the thought of even getting in that

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car, every time I saw one on the road, it literally,

00:12:23.519 --> 00:12:25.860
I just had this visceral reaction. Yeah. Yeah.

00:12:25.919 --> 00:12:28.200
You had PTSD for a while. It was. Yeah. When

00:12:28.200 --> 00:12:31.570
our salesman said, Hey, you know what? we'll

00:12:31.570 --> 00:12:34.610
just go get it. We buy cars that have been in

00:12:34.610 --> 00:12:37.250
an accident all the time and we just go pick

00:12:37.250 --> 00:12:38.990
it up. It had 10 ,000 miles on it. It was brand

00:12:38.990 --> 00:12:40.950
new. So they knew what they were getting. And

00:12:40.950 --> 00:12:42.970
they were wonderful. So anyway, we got it all

00:12:42.970 --> 00:12:46.570
ironed out, but it did take a lot of just brain

00:12:46.570 --> 00:12:49.750
power. I mean, just emotional toll on us. So

00:12:49.750 --> 00:12:52.549
we got through all that. Hallelujah. We were

00:12:52.549 --> 00:12:54.309
living up in a down world in the middle of it,

00:12:54.309 --> 00:12:55.929
even though we had our days, right? It was hard.

00:12:56.149 --> 00:12:57.970
It was hard, yeah. It was very stressful. It

00:12:57.970 --> 00:13:00.149
just felt so unjust. It just felt unfair. Yeah,

00:13:00.149 --> 00:13:01.789
I think if Lexus would have said, you know what?

00:13:02.750 --> 00:13:04.450
We're going to take care of you. We're going

00:13:04.450 --> 00:13:05.470
to take care of the repairs. Yeah, we'll buy

00:13:05.470 --> 00:13:07.250
the car back. We'll buy the car back, whatever.

00:13:07.350 --> 00:13:08.850
They should have done that. They didn't do anything.

00:13:08.889 --> 00:13:12.269
I will never buy another Lexus. Nope. Yeah, that's

00:13:12.269 --> 00:13:16.330
our, yeah, never again. So, yeah. It's sad. We

00:13:16.330 --> 00:13:19.559
had six. Five are great. The one nearly killed

00:13:19.559 --> 00:13:23.600
you. So we're not doing that. But anyway, moving

00:13:23.600 --> 00:13:26.779
on. But you know what? Here's the thing. Someone's

00:13:26.779 --> 00:13:29.039
going to have that car, and I've prayed. We have

00:13:29.039 --> 00:13:31.940
prayed. I have prayed that the Lord will protect

00:13:31.940 --> 00:13:34.440
that person, that it was an anomaly, that it

00:13:34.440 --> 00:13:36.720
won't happen. They checked. They did have someone

00:13:36.720 --> 00:13:39.700
come out from Lexus and look. And said it looks

00:13:39.700 --> 00:13:43.519
fine to them. But we'll, you know, because I

00:13:43.519 --> 00:13:45.059
wouldn't wish this upon anybody. Wouldn't wish

00:13:45.059 --> 00:13:48.360
that on anybody. So buildings out now. So we've

00:13:48.360 --> 00:13:50.000
got the Life Center, which that's a building

00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:51.940
that we built. It was a dream to build something

00:13:51.940 --> 00:13:54.559
that wanted to help families that had children

00:13:54.559 --> 00:13:57.340
with special needs because those families don't

00:13:57.340 --> 00:13:59.039
get to come to church. I mean, they just they

00:13:59.039 --> 00:14:02.580
can't connect with the body because most churches,

00:14:02.720 --> 00:14:05.820
88 percent or 92 percent of churches are not

00:14:05.820 --> 00:14:08.320
equipped to handle children with special needs.

00:14:09.080 --> 00:14:12.159
And and it's a big undertaking. I mean, we've.

00:14:12.720 --> 00:14:15.200
gone through a lot. We've spent a lot. We've

00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:17.000
raised a lot of money because we feel like this

00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:19.690
is important for families. To be able to come

00:14:19.690 --> 00:14:21.450
to church and be a part of the body of Christ.

00:14:21.549 --> 00:14:23.529
And not worry about their children. They need

00:14:23.529 --> 00:14:25.629
a faith community to connect with. And their

00:14:25.629 --> 00:14:27.850
children are going to be getting taught by trained

00:14:27.850 --> 00:14:31.110
teachers who most of them have degrees in that

00:14:31.110 --> 00:14:33.029
area. Exactly. Which is beautiful because we've

00:14:33.029 --> 00:14:34.690
got people who've just stepped up. We've got

00:14:34.690 --> 00:14:36.870
a good group of people. In fact, they met this

00:14:36.870 --> 00:14:39.110
week and they're getting excited, getting ready.

00:14:39.330 --> 00:14:40.509
Yeah, they had a meeting this week. I think we're

00:14:40.509 --> 00:14:42.509
having an open house in two weeks. Yeah, it's

00:14:42.509 --> 00:14:44.490
wonderful. Awesome, awesome stuff. So that's

00:14:44.490 --> 00:14:47.590
the Life Center. Then our summer vacation, we

00:14:47.590 --> 00:14:50.149
took it in June. June, we take a month off because

00:14:50.149 --> 00:14:53.250
we're 64 years old and we're not going to retire,

00:14:53.409 --> 00:14:55.809
but we are taking our time. We used to not, we

00:14:55.809 --> 00:14:58.409
used to just for years, we didn't even take vacations.

00:14:58.809 --> 00:15:01.789
We'd tack on a couple extra days to a conference

00:15:01.789 --> 00:15:05.149
or something, but that's still work. So now after

00:15:05.149 --> 00:15:07.490
our sabbatical three years ago, we're like, nope,

00:15:07.570 --> 00:15:09.750
we're going to do this. This was suggested by

00:15:09.750 --> 00:15:12.330
our coach, our sabbatical coach said, now that

00:15:12.330 --> 00:15:14.210
your church knows you can do it and you can make

00:15:14.210 --> 00:15:16.700
it without, you should run all your. vacation

00:15:16.700 --> 00:15:18.639
together and do it all in one month so we do

00:15:18.639 --> 00:15:20.440
that take a few days here and there as we need

00:15:20.440 --> 00:15:23.399
to but but more it's better for us to because

00:15:23.399 --> 00:15:26.799
it really does take a good two weeks to to really

00:15:26.799 --> 00:15:29.940
calm yourself down and get you know to where

00:15:29.940 --> 00:15:32.440
you're rested and then you feel like and a lot

00:15:32.440 --> 00:15:36.019
of times you just start to feel that and it's

00:15:36.019 --> 00:15:37.940
time to go back to leading a church is different

00:15:37.940 --> 00:15:40.940
because You're not an owner, but you feel like

00:15:40.940 --> 00:15:43.299
an owner. You're responsible. You're a steward

00:15:43.299 --> 00:15:48.240
of God's property and God's people. And so it

00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:51.139
takes a heavy emotional toll. In fact, I was

00:15:51.139 --> 00:15:55.259
looking recently at Howard Payne University where

00:15:55.259 --> 00:15:57.860
I went to college, and literally I was looking

00:15:57.860 --> 00:16:00.019
through all the pictures online. You can pull

00:16:00.019 --> 00:16:02.919
up all those old, what do they call them, yearbooks.

00:16:03.799 --> 00:16:05.519
And they're all online now. Really? Yeah, it's

00:16:05.519 --> 00:16:07.620
crazy. A little scary because I was looking.

00:16:07.799 --> 00:16:11.159
Oh, is it that long ago? Oh, what were you thinking?

00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:13.639
What were you thinking? So anyway, I was looking

00:16:13.639 --> 00:16:15.720
at pictures and I was looking at all the ministerial

00:16:15.720 --> 00:16:17.779
students that I went to school with. I actually

00:16:17.779 --> 00:16:20.559
did that. It was my watch. So that I went to

00:16:20.559 --> 00:16:24.720
school with and I only counted a couple that

00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:28.580
are still in ministry. I mean, out of, you know,

00:16:28.580 --> 00:16:30.700
60 something students who came in as freshmen.

00:16:31.240 --> 00:16:32.759
Saying, I'm going to be a pastor. I'm going to

00:16:32.759 --> 00:16:34.840
be a youth minister. I'm going to be a worship

00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:38.899
leader. Wow. I mean, literally, I put it on my

00:16:38.899 --> 00:16:41.379
one hand. Wow. And it really hit me. But our

00:16:41.379 --> 00:16:43.799
goal has been to go the long, play the long game.

00:16:43.879 --> 00:16:45.879
And that means we've got to be wise about taking

00:16:45.879 --> 00:16:48.419
care of ourselves. Right. And need to take that

00:16:48.419 --> 00:16:51.019
time off. So we took, last year, we took July

00:16:51.019 --> 00:16:54.889
off. Right. And this year. There was a big flood

00:16:54.889 --> 00:16:57.509
last July. So we thought, oh, well, let's do

00:16:57.509 --> 00:16:59.789
it in June. And you know what? It worked out.

00:16:59.809 --> 00:17:01.350
If we would have taken July, we'd have another

00:17:01.350 --> 00:17:03.350
flood. We'd have another one to deal with. So

00:17:03.350 --> 00:17:05.349
because it kind of just, I mean, we couldn't

00:17:05.349 --> 00:17:07.690
not say anything, just be quiet. We had to be

00:17:07.690 --> 00:17:09.670
involved. So anyway, that was last year. This

00:17:09.670 --> 00:17:12.269
year we took June and it was wonderful. We had

00:17:12.269 --> 00:17:15.369
a great time. We took a few weeks to be at home

00:17:15.369 --> 00:17:17.650
and just staycation and just breathe and kind

00:17:17.650 --> 00:17:21.819
of wind down. And then, and workout. We hit the

00:17:21.819 --> 00:17:25.839
gym. We're back. Man, we're probably as fit as

00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:27.960
we've ever been and strong as we've ever been

00:17:27.960 --> 00:17:30.220
really in our whole life because we're just all

00:17:30.220 --> 00:17:33.519
in. And then we went out to Sarasota, Florida.

00:17:33.880 --> 00:17:35.599
And that was wonderful. We had never been. That

00:17:35.599 --> 00:17:38.180
was amazing. It's stunning. It is really beautiful.

00:17:38.180 --> 00:17:39.680
Absolutely beautiful. Of course, it's on the

00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:42.440
Gulf of America side. I love saying that. You

00:17:42.440 --> 00:17:46.460
do. Except all the signs still say Gulf of Mexico.

00:17:46.819 --> 00:17:49.359
No, no. Y 'all need to catch up. Why haven't

00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:50.839
they changed those? I don't know. They need to,

00:17:50.920 --> 00:17:53.359
though. But anyway, so we stayed on the Gulf

00:17:53.359 --> 00:17:56.619
of... Anybody who's been to the Florida beaches

00:17:56.619 --> 00:17:59.759
on the Gulf side, they're just beautiful beaches.

00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:02.119
Really good sand. We love going to Florida. It's

00:18:02.119 --> 00:18:03.839
our favorite. I know. It's kind of home away

00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:05.440
from home. Like Nashville's home away from home.

00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:06.720
We're not going to live there, but we are going

00:18:06.720 --> 00:18:07.799
to travel there when we can. No, but we're going

00:18:07.799 --> 00:18:09.940
to enjoy it when we can. We got a lot of friends

00:18:09.940 --> 00:18:11.500
there, too. So we had a great time. But we did

00:18:11.500 --> 00:18:16.940
have an incident happen. before um this was really

00:18:16.940 --> 00:18:18.880
hard and this is what i really want to get into

00:18:18.880 --> 00:18:24.500
because i want to talk about when things happen

00:18:24.500 --> 00:18:27.599
that are out of our control and how do you handle

00:18:27.599 --> 00:18:30.319
it spiritually okay let's go you know what i'm

00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:33.430
talking about No, we have so many. Faith. Right.

00:18:33.490 --> 00:18:35.509
What happened with Faith? Right. So tell that

00:18:35.509 --> 00:18:38.490
story. Well, Faith is our daughter who's 25,

00:18:38.789 --> 00:18:41.309
almost 26. Because we have a dog, Mr. Chevy story

00:18:41.309 --> 00:18:43.890
too. He's alive though. He's okay. Oh, I forgot

00:18:43.890 --> 00:18:46.369
about that story. But anyway, that kind of coincides

00:18:46.369 --> 00:18:51.349
with this. No, about a week or two before our

00:18:51.349 --> 00:18:54.210
trip, Faith had found out that she was pregnant

00:18:54.210 --> 00:18:56.029
and she's been trying to get pregnant for over

00:18:56.029 --> 00:18:58.849
two years. She's been in fertility treatments.

00:19:00.269 --> 00:19:02.470
not doing IVF or anything, but just trying to

00:19:02.470 --> 00:19:05.410
take medication to get pregnant. She's never

00:19:05.410 --> 00:19:07.349
going to do the other because she's just, she

00:19:07.349 --> 00:19:10.710
doesn't, they don't have the funds to be able

00:19:10.710 --> 00:19:15.769
to do anything like that. And so she took a pregnancy

00:19:15.769 --> 00:19:18.470
test at one point, and it was negative. And then

00:19:18.470 --> 00:19:21.230
a few weeks later, took a pregnancy test again,

00:19:21.329 --> 00:19:24.390
and it was positive. And she was shocked. We

00:19:24.390 --> 00:19:26.569
were shocked. It was on the day they were moving.

00:19:27.480 --> 00:19:30.220
And they were moving in from their house to an

00:19:30.220 --> 00:19:32.019
apartment because they're building a house out

00:19:32.019 --> 00:19:35.920
in comfort close to us. And I'm standing there

00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:38.319
in the kitchen and we're about to be moving stuff.

00:19:38.460 --> 00:19:40.440
And I'm like, you can't do anything. She's like,

00:19:40.519 --> 00:19:42.160
I'm not, I'm not going to do anything. I'm not

00:19:42.160 --> 00:19:46.079
going to pick up anything. You know, I know better.

00:19:46.160 --> 00:19:50.220
I know better. And I'm like, okay, okay. So everything's

00:19:50.220 --> 00:19:52.859
good. She's all excited. She's kind of careful

00:19:52.859 --> 00:19:57.240
who she's telling. And we go on vacation. And

00:19:57.240 --> 00:20:01.380
when we get back, she gets put in the hospital

00:20:01.380 --> 00:20:04.240
because she's not feeling well. Or did she go

00:20:04.240 --> 00:20:07.119
in the hospital before our time? She was in there

00:20:07.119 --> 00:20:09.799
a couple of times. But anyway, long story short,

00:20:10.299 --> 00:20:14.819
they thought she was miscarrying, and she thought

00:20:14.819 --> 00:20:18.259
she was miscarrying. She was having some challenges

00:20:18.259 --> 00:20:23.240
there. But her HCG levels, which is what the

00:20:23.240 --> 00:20:26.140
labs are that tell you you're pregnant, They

00:20:26.140 --> 00:20:28.819
were going up, which means you're pregnant. Indicates

00:20:28.819 --> 00:20:33.059
pregnancy. And she thought she was miscarriage

00:20:33.059 --> 00:20:36.740
because she had a UTI. And she didn't. But then

00:20:36.740 --> 00:20:38.779
all of a sudden, when she went back to the doctor

00:20:38.779 --> 00:20:41.200
the following week, they went down and said that

00:20:41.200 --> 00:20:44.079
she was. And then they said, well, if you're

00:20:44.079 --> 00:20:47.339
going to try to get pregnant again, we've got

00:20:47.339 --> 00:20:50.279
to get your HCG level down to zero so that you

00:20:50.279 --> 00:20:53.279
can get pregnant. And so she was going in every

00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:56.910
few days. Started going back up. So the doctors

00:20:56.910 --> 00:20:58.589
were just shocked. They were like, okay. It did

00:20:58.589 --> 00:21:01.309
not make sense. Nothing made sense. Even the

00:21:01.309 --> 00:21:03.829
doctor. Even the doctor said. In her 21 years

00:21:03.829 --> 00:21:05.950
of doing this had never. Never seen this. Seen

00:21:05.950 --> 00:21:08.329
this. So Faith kind of. That's the thing you

00:21:08.329 --> 00:21:09.750
don't want to hear from a doctor. She thought,

00:21:09.829 --> 00:21:13.150
well, maybe she's having twins and she lost one

00:21:13.150 --> 00:21:17.150
and the other one is growing. But that wasn't

00:21:17.150 --> 00:21:19.410
the case. They ended up because they couldn't

00:21:19.410 --> 00:21:21.589
find it on the ultrasound and they needed to

00:21:21.589 --> 00:21:25.400
do an MRI. She could not get an MRI because no

00:21:25.400 --> 00:21:27.880
one would do it while she was pregnant. I don't

00:21:27.880 --> 00:21:30.319
understand that business. But anyway, they ended

00:21:30.319 --> 00:21:32.859
up having to go in and do emergency surgery,

00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:37.099
and she did have an ectopic pregnancy. That was

00:21:37.099 --> 00:21:39.119
one of the hardest things she's ever been through,

00:21:39.160 --> 00:21:41.700
but we have been through with her. Right. Because

00:21:41.700 --> 00:21:45.079
they ended up having to cut her tube. Luckily,

00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:46.980
she has another tube that's just fine, but they

00:21:46.980 --> 00:21:49.460
had to cut. that tube out. It was filled with

00:21:49.460 --> 00:21:51.420
blood and tissue, and the other one was filled

00:21:51.420 --> 00:21:53.140
with blood. They were able to clean that out.

00:21:53.480 --> 00:21:56.619
And she's recuperating right now. But the hardest

00:21:56.619 --> 00:22:02.460
thing for me is our little girl has autism. It's

00:22:02.460 --> 00:22:06.099
not – she's very high functional. High functioning,

00:22:06.200 --> 00:22:08.400
yeah. Only because we didn't know until she was

00:22:08.400 --> 00:22:13.859
18 that she had autism. But this little girl

00:22:13.859 --> 00:22:16.599
has always wanted to have a baby her whole life.

00:22:17.569 --> 00:22:20.789
And then this happens. And the first thing she

00:22:20.789 --> 00:22:23.009
said to the doctor is when she got out of the

00:22:23.009 --> 00:22:24.990
surgery, am I going to be able to have a child?

00:22:25.069 --> 00:22:28.190
And the doctor said, yes, this will not impede

00:22:28.190 --> 00:22:31.029
your progress to have a child. So but the thing

00:22:31.029 --> 00:22:33.710
is, is I was even questioning God on this. I

00:22:33.710 --> 00:22:36.589
was like, God, really, of all the people, this

00:22:36.589 --> 00:22:39.609
little girl that we have is the most sensitive.

00:22:40.430 --> 00:22:43.349
beautiful little girl she i still call her a

00:22:43.349 --> 00:22:46.849
little girl she's 26 no she's 25 honey not yet

00:22:46.849 --> 00:22:49.789
not till september she'll be 26 my bad but the

00:22:49.789 --> 00:22:54.630
thing is is she is she's not she's special and

00:22:54.630 --> 00:22:58.430
she's a very sensitive girl when you have autism

00:22:58.430 --> 00:23:01.869
too you're everything is black and white so it's

00:23:02.200 --> 00:23:04.640
You're either in a high or low. I mean, there's

00:23:04.640 --> 00:23:06.960
so many challenges that people have. A lot of

00:23:06.960 --> 00:23:09.079
anxiety comes with that. And I remember going

00:23:09.079 --> 00:23:13.240
into the office our first week, coming back.

00:23:14.640 --> 00:23:17.559
And she had the surgery during our first week

00:23:17.559 --> 00:23:20.619
of coming back to work from our vacation. And

00:23:20.619 --> 00:23:23.599
Renee Pennington's here. She is one of our counselors.

00:23:24.650 --> 00:23:26.869
or our counselor that we have at this church

00:23:26.869 --> 00:23:30.009
for our members. And I just went in, she was

00:23:30.009 --> 00:23:32.190
kind of in between patients. And I was like,

00:23:32.309 --> 00:23:35.769
I need your help because I'm having a hard time.

00:23:35.829 --> 00:23:39.690
I'm asking God, why did this happen to her? Makes

00:23:39.690 --> 00:23:43.109
me think of, we have a listener and I'm not going

00:23:43.109 --> 00:23:46.029
to say her name, but she's a listener and comes

00:23:46.029 --> 00:23:48.509
to our church. And she has a daughter and son

00:23:48.509 --> 00:23:50.289
-in -law who've been trying to get pregnant for

00:23:50.289 --> 00:23:53.799
years. Couldn't, they've been Now they're going

00:23:53.799 --> 00:23:56.519
through adoption and they've had five adoptions

00:23:56.519 --> 00:23:59.700
fall through. And some of them were scammed.

00:23:59.799 --> 00:24:03.559
I mean, and I think, how do they keep going?

00:24:04.380 --> 00:24:07.859
And, you know, at first, when I very first heard

00:24:07.859 --> 00:24:10.700
about what was happening with her, it was like,

00:24:10.819 --> 00:24:14.200
God, really? And then the next time someone would

00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:17.279
say, we're choosing you. And it looked all good.

00:24:17.339 --> 00:24:19.299
And then last minute fell apart. But you know

00:24:19.299 --> 00:24:23.099
what? We can't determine what the outcome is.

00:24:23.160 --> 00:24:26.400
Only God can. And when I was talking to Renee

00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:30.079
about faith and saying of all the people, why

00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:33.339
did this have to happen to her? I'm sure many

00:24:33.339 --> 00:24:37.059
moms and dads and friends have said, God, why?

00:24:37.220 --> 00:24:40.410
Oh, yeah. And I've had to even her and I both

00:24:40.410 --> 00:24:42.809
sat there. We held each other's hands and we

00:24:42.809 --> 00:24:45.029
just prayed and said, God, we don't understand.

00:24:45.410 --> 00:24:48.930
We don't understand. But we know you do. You're

00:24:48.930 --> 00:24:52.910
with her during this process. There's a reason

00:24:52.910 --> 00:24:56.250
we may not ever find out the side of heaven.

00:24:56.470 --> 00:25:01.910
But I had to let that go and say, God, your will,

00:25:02.069 --> 00:25:05.529
no matter what. The cool thing is. When I was

00:25:05.529 --> 00:25:07.910
at church Sunday, and Faith, she had surgery

00:25:07.910 --> 00:25:11.069
on Wednesday, a week ago Wednesday. She was at

00:25:11.069 --> 00:25:14.490
church on Sunday working, kind of overdid it.

00:25:14.529 --> 00:25:16.589
She said all she does, she just can't, she has

00:25:16.589 --> 00:25:18.750
to sit down. She can't move around, but it's

00:25:18.750 --> 00:25:20.710
hard for her because sitting too long is hard

00:25:20.710 --> 00:25:25.109
on her too. But she decided to come, and I went

00:25:25.109 --> 00:25:29.009
over to her, and I just hugged her. She's hard

00:25:29.009 --> 00:25:30.829
to hug because she's not a hugger because she's,

00:25:30.829 --> 00:25:34.960
you know. You don't just touch people. Just sensitivity.

00:25:35.299 --> 00:25:39.680
Very sensitive. Sensory issues. That's what I

00:25:39.680 --> 00:25:42.599
meant to say. Sensory issues. And so I was talking

00:25:42.599 --> 00:25:44.920
with her and she said, Mom, I was sharing the

00:25:44.920 --> 00:25:48.279
dream that you had. You had a dream last week.

00:25:48.339 --> 00:25:51.480
I did. About us losing her. I'm going to preach

00:25:51.480 --> 00:25:54.059
on that dream. You are. I know. I can't wait

00:25:54.059 --> 00:25:56.900
to hear it Sunday. And I was telling her about

00:25:56.900 --> 00:25:59.039
that dream and she stopped me and she said, You

00:25:59.039 --> 00:26:02.250
know, Mom, this is... Every mom wants to hear

00:26:02.250 --> 00:26:04.630
this. If you're a godly Christian mom, you want

00:26:04.630 --> 00:26:09.089
to hear this. She said, while I was going through

00:26:09.089 --> 00:26:14.890
this this week, I had to realize that this was

00:26:14.890 --> 00:26:17.730
not in my control. I could not handle this. The

00:26:17.730 --> 00:26:20.890
only thing I could do is give it to God. And

00:26:20.890 --> 00:26:24.650
that was all I needed to hear. But I had to do

00:26:24.650 --> 00:26:27.710
that first. I had to do it. And I did it with...

00:26:27.839 --> 00:26:30.980
But to hear Faith say that, because I've been

00:26:30.980 --> 00:26:33.220
praying, God, please give her peace through this.

00:26:33.859 --> 00:26:37.380
A lot of young women who go through something

00:26:37.380 --> 00:26:41.059
like this, and like I said, she's prayed for

00:26:41.059 --> 00:26:44.220
a child. She even told God when she thought she

00:26:44.220 --> 00:26:46.640
was miscarrying, please don't let me miscarry.

00:26:46.700 --> 00:26:49.420
I will love this baby more than anybody in this

00:26:49.420 --> 00:26:52.380
world. And it still happened. But a lot of people

00:26:52.380 --> 00:26:56.640
tend to walk away from God or the church. You

00:26:56.640 --> 00:26:59.680
know that. And we've seen that when something

00:26:59.680 --> 00:27:03.299
devastating happens. And to hear those words

00:27:03.299 --> 00:27:07.480
her first Sunday back, no, Mom, I had to just

00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:11.339
give it to God. There it is. That was like huge.

00:27:12.039 --> 00:27:14.519
I just started crying when she told me that.

00:27:14.740 --> 00:27:17.059
And then she said this, and this surprised me.

00:27:17.119 --> 00:27:20.440
She said, Mom, next time we have a women's meeting,

00:27:20.579 --> 00:27:23.200
can I just share? I want to share, she said,

00:27:23.259 --> 00:27:26.440
because a lot of... People I know, I guess she's

00:27:26.440 --> 00:27:30.240
on social media a lot, will talk about maybe

00:27:30.240 --> 00:27:32.619
they'll say something that happened, like they

00:27:32.619 --> 00:27:34.119
had a miscarriage or whatever, but then they

00:27:34.119 --> 00:27:36.359
have another baby, and so they don't really talk

00:27:36.359 --> 00:27:40.039
about what the pain was that they went through

00:27:40.039 --> 00:27:41.579
because they don't want to relive it. She said,

00:27:41.680 --> 00:27:45.900
I want to talk about the pain because people

00:27:45.900 --> 00:27:49.589
need to know that pain is real. And just because

00:27:49.589 --> 00:27:52.069
God may give me another child doesn't mean that

00:27:52.069 --> 00:27:54.089
pain just goes away and you just forget that

00:27:54.089 --> 00:27:57.289
you even had a child. That was so mature of her.

00:27:57.349 --> 00:28:01.069
I said, absolutely, Faith. Absolutely. What she's

00:28:01.069 --> 00:28:03.190
doing is she's saying, I don't want this to be

00:28:03.190 --> 00:28:05.990
wasted. Yes. You know, I don't want this to just

00:28:05.990 --> 00:28:08.930
go away. Yes. And then someday, maybe we'll talk

00:28:08.930 --> 00:28:12.039
about it two decades from now. You know, and

00:28:12.039 --> 00:28:14.279
it's just still a painful memory. Instead, she

00:28:14.279 --> 00:28:17.440
wants to leverage this pain for good. Absolutely.

00:28:17.460 --> 00:28:20.579
That makes me so proud as a father because those

00:28:20.579 --> 00:28:23.700
are the things we've tried to teach because we

00:28:23.700 --> 00:28:25.599
haven't always had it easy. We've had things

00:28:25.599 --> 00:28:27.480
and we've talked about it on our podcast. We've

00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:30.099
been very transparent. A lot of our stuff, you

00:28:30.099 --> 00:28:32.980
know, we just don't hide our scars. And because

00:28:32.980 --> 00:28:35.740
of that very reason. And so I love that that

00:28:35.740 --> 00:28:38.500
was her response. It wasn't. I'm going to go

00:28:38.500 --> 00:28:40.559
crawl in a hole. Now, she's grieving. I mean,

00:28:40.599 --> 00:28:43.019
it's real. She's still grieving. It's hard. And

00:28:43.019 --> 00:28:45.680
hurting. And I've told them, you need to grieve.

00:28:46.099 --> 00:28:49.460
And we've had to tell our staff, you know, if

00:28:49.460 --> 00:28:53.380
you need her to get some work done, go through

00:28:53.380 --> 00:28:57.380
us. Because we don't want a bunch of people contacting

00:28:57.380 --> 00:29:00.809
her. Having her do all this and her feel that,

00:29:00.829 --> 00:29:04.410
you know, stress when we can go to her one person

00:29:04.410 --> 00:29:06.849
and say, hey, can you do this or walk me through

00:29:06.849 --> 00:29:09.089
how to do this or whatever? Because obviously

00:29:09.089 --> 00:29:13.630
we're not in 100 percent work mode yet at all.

00:29:13.710 --> 00:29:16.250
And but we are allowing her obviously to work

00:29:16.250 --> 00:29:19.930
at home because it's easier for her. But yes,

00:29:20.230 --> 00:29:22.529
we we have to be very sensitive to her right

00:29:22.529 --> 00:29:26.640
now because this is a trying time. But. No, this

00:29:26.640 --> 00:29:29.200
person that's one of our listeners and you go

00:29:29.200 --> 00:29:30.720
to our church and I know you're going to listen

00:29:30.720 --> 00:29:33.039
to this. I want you to know that while we were

00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:35.259
going through this, I was thinking about you

00:29:35.259 --> 00:29:37.579
and your daughter and son -in -law who have lost,

00:29:37.660 --> 00:29:42.420
I think, five adoptions. And I'm still praying

00:29:42.420 --> 00:29:43.980
that God's going to come through. And I want

00:29:43.980 --> 00:29:46.539
you to know that I have not forgotten you either.

00:29:46.740 --> 00:29:50.059
And we saw that the last adoption that fell through.

00:29:51.969 --> 00:29:54.190
was recently, I think it was while we were on

00:29:54.190 --> 00:29:57.029
vacation. And I don't know if she would want

00:29:57.029 --> 00:29:58.910
her name put out there or not. So I'm not going

00:29:58.910 --> 00:30:00.509
to say anything, but I want you to know I've

00:30:00.509 --> 00:30:02.450
been praying for y 'all too, because it affects

00:30:02.450 --> 00:30:04.930
when somebody goes through something like this,

00:30:04.990 --> 00:30:07.930
it doesn't just affect you, the person that's

00:30:07.930 --> 00:30:09.910
going through it. It affects your family. It

00:30:09.910 --> 00:30:13.089
affects your friends. Oh, it does. Because grief

00:30:13.089 --> 00:30:16.950
is real. I mean, people like to ignore grief

00:30:16.950 --> 00:30:19.509
thinking, well, it'll eventually fizzle. It'll

00:30:19.509 --> 00:30:22.400
eventually go away. But you have to walk right

00:30:22.400 --> 00:30:24.579
into it head on. I learned that the hard way

00:30:24.579 --> 00:30:27.420
because I was a delayed griever. You know what

00:30:27.420 --> 00:30:29.339
I mean? You are. I'm a typical man. Well, even

00:30:29.339 --> 00:30:31.799
when we were going through this and I was crying

00:30:31.799 --> 00:30:34.819
and you were like not and you were just like

00:30:34.819 --> 00:30:36.960
going about your business. And then the next

00:30:36.960 --> 00:30:39.119
day I walk in and you're bawling and you're like.

00:30:39.640 --> 00:30:41.339
It just takes me a while to process. It does.

00:30:41.559 --> 00:30:44.019
I've got to process it. And two, I tend to be,

00:30:44.039 --> 00:30:46.740
again, being raised by a first responder. I'm

00:30:46.740 --> 00:30:49.619
real level -headed in a crisis. And then when

00:30:49.619 --> 00:30:51.279
I know everyone— That's what it is. You're raised

00:30:51.279 --> 00:30:53.440
by a first responder, so you had to learn that.

00:30:53.440 --> 00:30:55.660
I was raised in a firefighter culture, and so

00:30:55.660 --> 00:30:58.720
you've got to do what you do in the moment. That's

00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:01.480
not the time to grieve in the middle of the tragedy.

00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:04.799
And so growing up that way, I'm wired that way.

00:31:06.839 --> 00:31:08.700
I'm the opposite. There's even been times where

00:31:08.700 --> 00:31:10.380
you thought I didn't care about something. I

00:31:10.380 --> 00:31:12.400
said, this has nothing to do with whether I care

00:31:12.400 --> 00:31:14.839
or not. Trust me, the wave is coming. Yes, and

00:31:14.839 --> 00:31:17.779
it does. And when it does, it's bigger than my

00:31:17.779 --> 00:31:19.839
grief. I mean, it's like. It builds. You're,

00:31:19.839 --> 00:31:22.839
yeah. Because you're sensitive at that point.

00:31:22.839 --> 00:31:24.579
It's not that I'm fighting it. It's literally

00:31:24.579 --> 00:31:27.619
that I'm making sure everybody's okay. It's the

00:31:27.619 --> 00:31:29.920
pastor in me. It's the first responder in me.

00:31:29.940 --> 00:31:33.700
I wanted to make sure everybody's. Okay. Got

00:31:33.700 --> 00:31:35.720
their feet on the ground. Are we all together?

00:31:35.799 --> 00:31:38.579
It's what a shepherd does with the sheep. I'm

00:31:38.579 --> 00:31:41.279
shepherding and I shepherd my family. And so

00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:43.960
as the man of the family, so in the head of the

00:31:43.960 --> 00:31:47.180
home. So once everybody's okay, it's like I have

00:31:47.180 --> 00:31:50.339
permission to, and it always sneaks up on me.

00:31:50.500 --> 00:31:53.779
Yeah. And it does. And it hits. At the most inopportune

00:31:53.779 --> 00:31:56.900
times. I remember you said you were in. class

00:31:56.900 --> 00:31:59.579
in college. Oh yeah. And all of a sudden you're

00:31:59.579 --> 00:32:01.839
looking down and you have tears falling down

00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:03.859
on your paper. I didn't even know what that was.

00:32:03.900 --> 00:32:05.400
Didn't even know what it was, but you were grieving

00:32:05.400 --> 00:32:09.380
the loss of your mother from months before. Not

00:32:09.380 --> 00:32:12.240
months. Oh. A few weeks at that time. So that

00:32:12.240 --> 00:32:15.619
was, that was the first wave. Yeah. Wow. So that's,

00:32:15.619 --> 00:32:18.039
so that's normal for me. So that's why I wouldn't,

00:32:18.039 --> 00:32:20.220
I know you're, you're like, I can't believe this.

00:32:20.240 --> 00:32:22.079
And I'm like, trust me, it's coming. Well, in

00:32:22.079 --> 00:32:24.900
my mind though, in my mind as a woman, I'm thinking,

00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:28.220
You don't understand because you're not a woman,

00:32:28.259 --> 00:32:31.109
but it's. you're still not that at all. It wasn't

00:32:31.109 --> 00:32:33.430
that at all. So I, that's what I was thinking.

00:32:33.490 --> 00:32:36.390
I have to make sure everyone's okay. And men

00:32:36.390 --> 00:32:39.529
will understand this and some moms too, but that's

00:32:39.529 --> 00:32:42.650
something I think God puts in men and it looks

00:32:42.650 --> 00:32:45.309
like we don't care now. And it can be unhealthy

00:32:45.309 --> 00:32:47.990
in terms of pushing it off too far. And then

00:32:47.990 --> 00:32:50.329
sometimes, and I've done that too. So where I'm

00:32:50.329 --> 00:32:53.470
like, put it too far away. Right. And I've, I've

00:32:53.470 --> 00:32:56.759
had to sit with so many people, you know, Having

00:32:56.759 --> 00:32:59.420
a funeral meeting, a pre -service funeral meeting

00:32:59.420 --> 00:33:01.380
where I'm interviewing a family, especially if

00:33:01.380 --> 00:33:03.420
I didn't know the person. Right. And I'm just

00:33:03.420 --> 00:33:05.319
trying to pull memories out of them and tell

00:33:05.319 --> 00:33:08.279
me what you would want people to know, what made

00:33:08.279 --> 00:33:11.299
you laugh, you know, what just blew, what made

00:33:11.299 --> 00:33:13.660
you frustrated yet you're laughing about it now.

00:33:13.700 --> 00:33:15.220
You know, those kinds of things about people.

00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:18.980
And I always tell that family, in case no one

00:33:18.980 --> 00:33:23.849
has told you, permission to grieve. inevitably

00:33:23.849 --> 00:33:26.569
somebody loses it in that room at that point.

00:33:26.609 --> 00:33:29.190
You can see the tears flow because sometimes

00:33:29.190 --> 00:33:32.869
people just need permission to hurt. There's

00:33:32.869 --> 00:33:37.349
power in acknowledging and revealing pain. You

00:33:37.349 --> 00:33:40.180
can't live there. But you do need to acknowledge

00:33:40.180 --> 00:33:42.700
it. And I do know people, the sad thing is that

00:33:42.700 --> 00:33:46.420
some people can't get past it. Some people don't

00:33:46.420 --> 00:33:48.880
want to. They feel guilty if they get past it.

00:33:48.940 --> 00:33:50.720
I should always feel remorseful. Because they

00:33:50.720 --> 00:33:53.000
think that if they get past it, that means it

00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:54.960
didn't mean anything to begin with. And it doesn't.

00:33:54.960 --> 00:33:58.079
It's not true at all. And for a Christian. This

00:33:58.079 --> 00:34:00.579
is what Renee and I were talking about too. Gosh,

00:34:00.720 --> 00:34:03.019
I can't even imagine if you don't have Jesus,

00:34:03.200 --> 00:34:07.359
how do you get through anything? We have a helper,

00:34:07.480 --> 00:34:10.519
the Holy Spirit. He's our comforter, our teacher.

00:34:11.340 --> 00:34:15.480
Jesus said, I will send another helper in my

00:34:15.480 --> 00:34:18.260
place. And that word is paraclete, which means

00:34:18.260 --> 00:34:21.400
the one called alongside to help. That's what

00:34:21.400 --> 00:34:23.659
I was talking to him at four o 'clock this morning

00:34:23.659 --> 00:34:27.130
in bed. I was talking to the helper. was about

00:34:27.130 --> 00:34:29.889
that, those kinds of things, but thanking him

00:34:29.889 --> 00:34:34.010
for being a helper and all that. So for those

00:34:34.010 --> 00:34:36.289
that are listening, I mean, everybody's at different

00:34:36.289 --> 00:34:39.550
places on the grief spectrum. I mean, some that

00:34:39.550 --> 00:34:43.449
have not really resolved it are still, they can't

00:34:43.449 --> 00:34:46.789
even talk about some memories because it's still,

00:34:46.829 --> 00:34:50.900
it's too there. It's too, too painful. And God

00:34:50.900 --> 00:34:53.280
knows, listen to the scripture. I looked this

00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:55.340
up while you were sharing and appreciate that.

00:34:55.500 --> 00:34:59.559
Psalm 34, 18 says this in the NIV, the Lord is

00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:02.559
close to the brokenhearted and saves those who

00:35:02.559 --> 00:35:06.039
are crushed in spirit. The word save literally

00:35:06.039 --> 00:35:09.659
in the Hebrew, it means rescues. He rescues you

00:35:09.659 --> 00:35:13.760
out of that. And he comes to, to, to wrap himself

00:35:13.760 --> 00:35:17.449
around you. Speaking of first responders, it's

00:35:17.449 --> 00:35:20.429
like you're in a car that's turned over. You've

00:35:20.429 --> 00:35:21.869
been laying there for hours. You're bleeding

00:35:21.869 --> 00:35:24.670
out, and you think nobody cares. And then you

00:35:24.670 --> 00:35:27.789
see a headlight on a helmet, and it's a first

00:35:27.789 --> 00:35:30.269
responder coming. They say, we've got you. You're

00:35:30.269 --> 00:35:32.230
going to be okay. We've got you. We'll get you

00:35:32.230 --> 00:35:33.750
out of here. This is why we like all the shows

00:35:33.750 --> 00:35:35.369
with first responders. We do. I do like those

00:35:35.369 --> 00:35:37.650
kind of shows because I grew up around guys like

00:35:37.650 --> 00:35:39.610
that. In fact, I walked over to some guys in

00:35:39.610 --> 00:35:43.630
the gym today. From Conroe. Conroe, Texas. They

00:35:43.630 --> 00:35:46.579
came up here to help. I had Conroe Rescue on

00:35:46.579 --> 00:35:48.260
the back of their shirts. They came to work out.

00:35:48.599 --> 00:35:50.539
And I walked over to them and said, hey, guys,

00:35:50.559 --> 00:35:52.739
are y 'all here to help with the flood? They

00:35:52.739 --> 00:35:54.760
said, yeah, we are. I said, I just want to say

00:35:54.760 --> 00:35:56.539
thank you for being here. Thanks for helping

00:35:56.539 --> 00:35:59.380
us. You have such a hard work. I appreciate that.

00:35:59.659 --> 00:36:05.739
I do. I just do. And you almost became a firefighter

00:36:05.739 --> 00:36:08.460
yourself. Yeah, almost did. I'm kind of glad

00:36:08.460 --> 00:36:10.820
that didn't work out. Well, me and a bunch of

00:36:10.820 --> 00:36:13.889
guys, there was a. That's a story for another

00:36:13.889 --> 00:36:17.090
time. It involved a lawsuit. Yes. Class action

00:36:17.090 --> 00:36:19.090
lawsuit. But it was because God had a different

00:36:19.090 --> 00:36:20.809
trajectory. No, I had a different path. Yeah.

00:36:20.829 --> 00:36:23.550
God had a different path for me. But I'll never

00:36:23.550 --> 00:36:26.309
not love and appreciate those who put their lives

00:36:26.309 --> 00:36:28.750
on the line for us and don't get paid nearly

00:36:28.750 --> 00:36:30.610
enough to do it. Well, I remember we were in

00:36:30.610 --> 00:36:33.610
a Bernie at the grocery store a few weeks ago

00:36:33.610 --> 00:36:39.289
and there was a emergency. It was a man. He was.

00:36:40.779 --> 00:36:44.659
He was a policeman? Police officer. Is that what

00:36:44.659 --> 00:36:47.800
he was? Yeah, he had his vest on. And I tried

00:36:47.800 --> 00:36:50.500
to buy his groceries, and he wouldn't let me.

00:36:50.559 --> 00:36:52.860
Well, we had seen him earlier in the store, and

00:36:52.860 --> 00:36:54.659
we both walked over to him and said, thank you

00:36:54.659 --> 00:36:55.860
for what you do. Thank you for what you do. And

00:36:55.860 --> 00:36:57.340
he said, thank you. I said, how's your day been?

00:36:57.519 --> 00:36:58.880
It's been so hard. He said, it's been rough.

00:36:58.880 --> 00:37:00.920
He said, I've already had a bad day. It was during

00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:03.159
Pride Month. Yeah, and they had a Pride parade.

00:37:03.159 --> 00:37:06.239
They had a protest or parade. He said it was

00:37:06.239 --> 00:37:09.880
awful. He said it was horrific. We just happened

00:37:09.880 --> 00:37:12.880
to be behind him in line, and I literally felt

00:37:12.880 --> 00:37:14.940
like the Lord said to do it. But maybe it was

00:37:14.940 --> 00:37:17.119
not because he was going to accept it, but just

00:37:17.119 --> 00:37:19.440
to see if I would be obedient. I didn't even

00:37:19.440 --> 00:37:22.260
care how much. I mean, obviously I do, but I

00:37:22.260 --> 00:37:25.260
was like, Lord, okay. And I heard it in my...

00:37:25.759 --> 00:37:27.519
Well, you went over and did it before I even

00:37:27.519 --> 00:37:29.300
knew what you were doing. I just saw you talking

00:37:29.300 --> 00:37:31.920
to him. And I just said, I want to pay for this.

00:37:31.920 --> 00:37:35.519
And he was like, no, please give it to someone

00:37:35.519 --> 00:37:38.039
who really is in need. I am not in need. I'm

00:37:38.039 --> 00:37:40.219
taken care of. And I said, okay. But that's just

00:37:40.219 --> 00:37:42.880
one more reason I love you. The checker, the

00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:45.750
one that was checking us out, she goes. Thank

00:37:45.750 --> 00:37:48.530
you for that. That was awesome. Maybe it was

00:37:48.530 --> 00:37:51.110
just to show her that there are still kind people

00:37:51.110 --> 00:37:54.030
in this world, you know? Yeah, here's my response

00:37:54.030 --> 00:37:57.630
to that. I was like, why are you looking over

00:37:57.630 --> 00:38:00.510
there? You're looking for a... Yes, that was

00:38:00.510 --> 00:38:04.750
a good response. But it felt good to do that.

00:38:05.469 --> 00:38:08.510
um, and want to help someone. But now I know

00:38:08.510 --> 00:38:11.130
I have to keep my antenna for those that are

00:38:11.130 --> 00:38:13.369
in need. Well, that, that got us a little off

00:38:13.369 --> 00:38:15.530
of our story, but we were talking about grief

00:38:15.530 --> 00:38:18.070
and people, you know, hurting and whatnot. And

00:38:18.070 --> 00:38:21.070
then we segued into that, but, uh, delayed grief

00:38:21.070 --> 00:38:24.170
and the heart of a first responder. So, but for

00:38:24.170 --> 00:38:26.269
you, I want to read that scripture again, because

00:38:26.269 --> 00:38:28.849
that's, that is the Lord's heart for you. If

00:38:28.849 --> 00:38:30.750
you're listening today, there's a reason why

00:38:30.750 --> 00:38:32.369
you're listening. It's not just because, oh,

00:38:32.389 --> 00:38:34.469
I heard Jimmy and I did an episode or maybe you

00:38:34.469 --> 00:38:36.829
stumbled onto this. Maybe you're from another

00:38:36.829 --> 00:38:38.750
country because we did get a lot of listeners

00:38:38.750 --> 00:38:41.409
from other countries. Crazy, yes. Listen to this

00:38:41.409 --> 00:38:47.110
again. It's out of the Bible, Psalm 3418. The

00:38:47.110 --> 00:38:50.559
Lord is close to the brokenhearted. and saves

00:38:50.559 --> 00:38:53.380
those who are crushed in spirit. And there's

00:38:53.380 --> 00:38:55.639
nothing like grief. It's soul crushing. It's

00:38:55.639 --> 00:38:58.719
spirit crushing. And the thing I tell people

00:38:58.719 --> 00:39:01.840
that are going through grief, not only from personal

00:39:01.840 --> 00:39:04.760
experience, but also from my training, is that

00:39:04.760 --> 00:39:07.179
when you're in it, you feel like you will never

00:39:07.179 --> 00:39:09.820
not be in it. You'll feel like this is for the

00:39:09.820 --> 00:39:11.400
rest of my life. You think I'm going to feel

00:39:11.400 --> 00:39:14.340
this way from now on. I will feel like this from

00:39:14.340 --> 00:39:17.329
now on. There's only a handful of people do that.

00:39:17.349 --> 00:39:19.269
And that's a choice. And unfortunately, where

00:39:19.269 --> 00:39:21.730
they become instead of victims, they become volunteers.

00:39:21.769 --> 00:39:24.909
And that's another story for another time. It's

00:39:24.909 --> 00:39:29.329
a dynamic. But you will not always feel that

00:39:29.329 --> 00:39:32.670
way. And there is hope and there is healing because

00:39:32.670 --> 00:39:35.429
the Lord is close to you when your heart is broken

00:39:35.429 --> 00:39:38.210
and he wants to rescue and save you out of that.

00:39:38.289 --> 00:39:40.750
I love that. Isn't that beautiful? God's so good.

00:39:40.869 --> 00:39:43.909
I hope this helps our listeners sometimes just.

00:39:44.710 --> 00:39:49.570
I think there's not enough pastors that are transparent

00:39:49.570 --> 00:39:52.789
and will share the good, the bad, and the ugly.

00:39:52.949 --> 00:39:55.050
And that was why we were always drawn to the

00:39:55.050 --> 00:39:57.289
pastors that did and said, if we ever pastor

00:39:57.289 --> 00:40:00.210
again, Lord, which now it's been a while. But

00:40:00.210 --> 00:40:03.789
back in the day, we want to be transparent. We

00:40:03.789 --> 00:40:05.530
want to show people that we believe just like

00:40:05.530 --> 00:40:11.500
them. Um, hope we have, we have Jesus and we

00:40:11.500 --> 00:40:15.019
never want, I mean, I got mad at God. I did.

00:40:15.039 --> 00:40:17.579
I got mad. I was like, God, I am mad. I'm mad.

00:40:18.860 --> 00:40:21.780
Exactly. And I, but I know I can't stay there

00:40:21.780 --> 00:40:24.400
and it's like, okay, God, I'm just venting this.

00:40:24.579 --> 00:40:28.239
I'm telling Renee, this is how I feel, but now

00:40:28.239 --> 00:40:30.989
I need to get over it. And I need you to help

00:40:30.989 --> 00:40:34.309
give me that peace. And he gave it to me that

00:40:34.309 --> 00:40:36.510
Sunday morning. Because I talked to her on Thursday.

00:40:36.630 --> 00:40:39.449
And by Sunday, I had that. And I was like, God,

00:40:39.630 --> 00:40:43.449
you're so good. He's so good in spite of everything.

00:40:43.550 --> 00:40:46.789
Even all the loss with the Lexus. I mean, we

00:40:46.789 --> 00:40:49.949
lost a lot. But you know what? God is still good

00:40:49.949 --> 00:40:57.440
no matter what. No matter what. Living up in

00:40:57.440 --> 00:40:59.280
a down world. That's right. We want you to have

00:40:59.280 --> 00:41:01.480
that hope. Living up in a down world, the mentality

00:41:01.480 --> 00:41:03.539
of that, and then the other show I'm doing now

00:41:03.539 --> 00:41:05.340
with Adam Curry. We get to do this. We get to

00:41:05.340 --> 00:41:09.199
do this. The mentality there, both of those things

00:41:09.199 --> 00:41:11.880
are things I came up with at some point where

00:41:11.880 --> 00:41:16.079
that's a philosophy of life. It's a way of seeing

00:41:16.079 --> 00:41:19.599
life. It's seeing life through a biblical lens,

00:41:19.920 --> 00:41:23.639
a biblical worldview where you go, okay. Things

00:41:23.639 --> 00:41:26.239
do get hard. Bad things do happen. We live in

00:41:26.239 --> 00:41:29.400
a fallen world. What should we expect? Now we

00:41:29.400 --> 00:41:30.980
don't go around waiting for the next shoe to

00:41:30.980 --> 00:41:34.159
drop, but we just know when things happen. There

00:41:34.159 --> 00:41:36.679
will be the end. I mean, when you walk through

00:41:36.679 --> 00:41:39.199
the valley of the shadow of death of Psalm 23,

00:41:39.500 --> 00:41:42.480
it says you'll fear no evil. Why? Because he

00:41:42.480 --> 00:41:45.260
is with you. His rod and his staff comfort us.

00:41:45.440 --> 00:41:48.260
So we're never alone, even in the darkest, even

00:41:48.260 --> 00:41:50.860
when you are mad. I don't know what you said

00:41:50.860 --> 00:41:52.579
to him. Unfortunately, it wasn't too bad. He

00:41:52.579 --> 00:41:55.219
didn't get electrocuted. No, lightning didn't

00:41:55.219 --> 00:41:59.300
strike. He's a good father, and like a good father,

00:41:59.380 --> 00:42:02.880
he can take it. And then he walks you out of

00:42:02.880 --> 00:42:08.579
it. His staff, it's there. He's helping. So we

00:42:08.579 --> 00:42:11.079
want to encourage you, first of all, acknowledge

00:42:11.079 --> 00:42:13.679
the pain. If you're going through something right

00:42:13.679 --> 00:42:16.199
now, we may be saying living up in a down world,

00:42:16.280 --> 00:42:18.900
but that doesn't mean you don't have pain. It's

00:42:18.900 --> 00:42:22.159
actually a choice you make in the pain to say

00:42:22.159 --> 00:42:24.940
no matter how hard it gets, no matter, God is

00:42:24.940 --> 00:42:27.239
still good. God is still good, and he's got a

00:42:27.239 --> 00:42:29.239
plan for my life, no matter what it looks like

00:42:29.239 --> 00:42:31.719
now. Because we had plenty of chances through

00:42:31.719 --> 00:42:34.219
our lifetime to give up, quit, walk away. Never

00:42:34.219 --> 00:42:37.619
have. And just say, no, no way. I ain't got time

00:42:37.619 --> 00:42:42.159
for that. So we didn't do that. And I'm so thankful

00:42:42.159 --> 00:42:44.840
looking back on various things that happened.

00:42:45.280 --> 00:42:47.219
That we didn't quit. Yeah, absolutely. So anyway,

00:42:47.440 --> 00:42:50.559
new podcast coming. I mean, it's happening. We're

00:42:50.559 --> 00:42:53.780
already in episode 41. You can find it on any

00:42:53.780 --> 00:42:56.159
of the platforms that are out there. We get to

00:42:56.159 --> 00:42:58.539
do this with Adam Curry and Jimmy Pruitt. It

00:42:58.539 --> 00:43:00.320
was hard to find the other day. I was helping

00:43:00.320 --> 00:43:02.320
a gentleman find it. I could have found it in

00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:04.780
a nanosecond. I know. I was on his Google. I

00:43:04.780 --> 00:43:07.199
could have done it easily. There is another podcast

00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:09.760
called We Get to Do This, but it's not Adam and

00:43:09.760 --> 00:43:13.360
Jimmy. It's Adam and Jimmy. One easy way to find

00:43:13.360 --> 00:43:15.699
it is to download the Godcaster. The Godcaster

00:43:15.699 --> 00:43:21.699
is a full service. app that's got 24 -7 Christian

00:43:21.699 --> 00:43:24.420
music on it. It's got daily grinds. It's got

00:43:24.420 --> 00:43:27.760
all kinds of podcasts that we, and you can populate

00:43:27.760 --> 00:43:30.559
it with your podcasts as well. It's super simple

00:43:30.559 --> 00:43:34.940
to work and operate. Just go to your app store

00:43:34.940 --> 00:43:39.219
and download the Godcaster. Or you can go on

00:43:39.219 --> 00:43:45.019
Bridge Church, fbg .com and download the Godcaster.

00:43:46.030 --> 00:43:48.670
we get to do this also check out our website

00:43:48.670 --> 00:43:51.090
not a lot of movement in the last nine months

00:43:51.090 --> 00:43:53.269
because we haven't been on it but i will be uploading

00:43:53.269 --> 00:43:56.349
this podcast to that and so check it out and

00:43:56.349 --> 00:43:58.230
if you haven't never subscribed to us subscribe

00:43:58.230 --> 00:44:00.349
and get on our mailing list we've got about 300

00:44:00.349 --> 00:44:05.860
on our sub stack And a lot of those, I hope,

00:44:05.860 --> 00:44:08.420
will also start listening to We Get to Do This.

00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:11.099
That's where Adam and I actually, Adam's the

00:44:11.099 --> 00:44:14.079
king of culture. He knows what's going on in

00:44:14.079 --> 00:44:17.320
the world. And we do a lot of hot takes where

00:44:17.320 --> 00:44:19.300
he'll just pitch something. He'll play a clip

00:44:19.300 --> 00:44:22.539
from the news. And then I give my biblical worldview.

00:44:23.579 --> 00:44:26.860
Hot off the press, hot take on it. And it's fascinating.

00:44:26.960 --> 00:44:30.400
We get to bring scripture into the things that

00:44:30.400 --> 00:44:32.219
are happening in the world around us and bring

00:44:32.219 --> 00:44:35.260
biblical solutions because we don't have a political

00:44:35.260 --> 00:44:37.639
problem in this world. We have a spiritual problem

00:44:37.639 --> 00:44:39.679
and that's how we want to handle it. So do check

00:44:39.679 --> 00:44:42.360
that out on the Godcaster or your favorite platform.

00:44:42.559 --> 00:44:45.960
So, and two, just big thanks. I just wrote down

00:44:45.960 --> 00:44:48.039
in my notes, I'm following the show note list.

00:44:48.119 --> 00:44:50.599
You should be proud of me. Thanks to those who

00:44:50.599 --> 00:44:52.880
have been patient and stayed with us as subscribers.

00:44:52.940 --> 00:44:57.579
And those, James Barron, Julie Herbert, Steve

00:44:57.579 --> 00:45:04.219
Wise, Bill Mumford, or William Mumford. There's

00:45:04.219 --> 00:45:06.840
been several that have given over time, even

00:45:06.840 --> 00:45:09.800
without us doing podcasts recently. Thank you

00:45:09.800 --> 00:45:12.719
so much. We really appreciate that. And we'll

00:45:12.719 --> 00:45:15.739
keep you up to speed on what's happening with

00:45:15.739 --> 00:45:17.579
We Get to Do This, because we are moving that

00:45:17.579 --> 00:45:20.260
to a... almost full -time gig i mean it's going

00:45:20.260 --> 00:45:23.199
to be like substantial websites being built out

00:45:23.199 --> 00:45:27.159
right now we actually formed an llc so it's actually

00:45:27.159 --> 00:45:31.039
a real deal legit we'll be on sub stack so we'll

00:45:31.039 --> 00:45:32.780
let you know when that happens i'll send out

00:45:32.780 --> 00:45:35.699
an email to everybody so yeah get on our email

00:45:35.699 --> 00:45:39.139
list go living up in the down world .com and

00:45:39.139 --> 00:45:41.820
check subscribe and that's it's that simple we

00:45:41.820 --> 00:45:43.480
love you guys anything you want to say on the

00:45:43.480 --> 00:45:47.159
as we roll out of here felt good yeah as much

00:45:47.159 --> 00:45:51.099
as i Push back. It actually felt good. Welcome

00:45:51.099 --> 00:45:53.940
back. Thank you. You're a natural. Oh, wow. Yeah.

00:45:54.440 --> 00:45:58.619
Awesome. Only because it's with you. Oh, wrong

00:45:58.619 --> 00:46:02.380
one. Here we go. I can't. That's my heart. Oh,

00:46:02.380 --> 00:46:04.900
your heart's beat. Oh, is that right? That's

00:46:04.900 --> 00:46:07.920
exactly what happened. Wow. We love you. We're

00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:09.800
out of here. Keep living up in a down world.