"Live at Bridge Church"

WEBVTT

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This is Jimmy and Annette. We are coming to you

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live from Fredericksburg, Texas, in the heart

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of the Texas Hill Country, Bridge Church, Fredericksburg.

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Episode number 106, welcome to Living Up in a

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Down World, and you're looking stunning as usual,

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baby. You're so sweet. Although I've had no sleep,

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went to sleep at 10 o 'clock, woke up at 3, wide

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awake, and I've been up ever since. So why were

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you wide awake at 3 o 'clock? My mind is going

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90 miles an hour. Because I invited you to come

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on the platform with me. That's right, and I

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agreed. I don't know why. I don't know why I

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agreed. You did. You did not even hesitate. I

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didn't, which is weird because then, you know,

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then I start second -guessing myself. Like, why

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did I do that? Really? I didn't notice all week.

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Yes. All week. Yeah, I didn't notice that. Yes.

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Yeah, 24 -7. 24 -7. Why did I commit to this?

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Why did I say yes? I don't know. Sounded good

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when you were with our staff on retreat, didn't

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it? Sounded great. Hey, welcome to the podcast

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everybody. We're glad that you're here. This

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is going to be a different kind of sermon today.

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This actually will go out as a podcast on our

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channel. But what we wanted to do was talk about

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family. We cannot... talk about family and freedom

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and and faith without actually letting you have

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a little bit of glimpse of who we are we have

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a lot of new people in our church can we welcome

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all the new people that are here this morning

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it's amazing i've been meeting people this morning

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already over the last few weeks we've been uh

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pegging over 700 in attendance on a given Sunday,

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and God is showing up. We're pegging nearly 50

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with our students. I mean, God's moving, family.

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Aslan is on the move. So we wanted to start off

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by just talking about some things about our own

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life, and maybe, let me just start with this.

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We're not sitting up here telling you how amazing

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we're doing this. So you're going to get the

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good, the bad, and the not so pretty, right?

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Right. Let's talk about the marriage conference

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that we got to speak at. This is the not so pretty

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part. So go ahead. I thought it was glorious.

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Yeah. Okay. We were moving to Nashville. I'd

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driven a Penske truck, and my friend Mike Miller

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had driven another Penske truck because we got

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a lot of stuff. It took two of them. We drove

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all night from Abilene, Texas to Nashville, Tennessee,

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or Spring Hill, Tennessee, just south. Actually,

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Brentwood. Actually, Brentwood. We were in Brentwood

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then. We lived in Brentwood. And to our new house.

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That we'd never seen? We rented it sight and

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see. Yeah, yeah. A friend of ours went, that's

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risky. I'm just saying. It was great. But it

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worked out good for us. So I drove all night,

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me and my friend Mike. We were wiped out. But

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I had committed, some of you may have heard of

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a minister by the name of Larry Tomczak. Larry

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Tomczak. was with another generation of ministers

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who saw revival throughout our nation. They were

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amazing. 70s, 80s guys where the charismatic

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renewal swept across the world, and especially

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in America. Pastor Larry was one of those. And

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he had invited Annette and I. to speak at a marriage

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conference at Bethel World Outreach in Nashville,

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Tennessee. Of which he sprung it on me the day

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we were moving. I forgot to mention it to her.

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And it was that day. Because of the move. How

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many of y 'all have moved? You feel our pain,

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right? So we're unloading the Penske truck. We're

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exhausted. It's hot. We're tired. We're going

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on zero sleep. And then I remember. Yes. Oh,

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yeah. We're supposed to be somewhere in one hour.

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And I said, what? I know. No, you didn't say

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it like that. Okay. That was nice. That was nice.

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I was furious. Livid. Here we are going to go

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talk about our marriage. We're having the biggest

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fight of our life. The biggest fight of our life.

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All the way driving. Granny White Pike in Nashville,

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Tennessee. But first, we had to find towels.

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There was no shower curtain. We had to find everything.

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Clothes. We had to find clothes. He didn't tell

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me any of this before we moved. This was the

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day that he had just driven in, like in the middle

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of the night. And so I was not happy. So I was

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doing what dudes usually do. This is what we

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do, guys. We minimize everything. Have you ever

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noticed that? Oh, it's going to be great. Oh,

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it's not a big deal. It's just a small little

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thing we're going to. Don't worry. Am I the only

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guy in the room who does this? Yeah, we minimize.

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It's going to be good. It's going to be okay.

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Thousands. I'm trying to talk her off the ledge,

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actually. And we have the biggest fight, and

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this is what I say to you. No, no, no. You had

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a big fight. I just listened. He just listened.

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He just listened. I just drove. Okay, you did.

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You just listened. Yes, ma 'am. Yes, ma 'am.

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But I said, I'm not going to say anything. You're

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going to get up, and you're going to say, because

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you didn't prepare me, you're going to say it

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all, and I'm just going to sit there. So we get

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to the venue, and the place is packed to the

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rafters, which I didn't know was going to happen.

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It was a big deal. And we're there, and there's

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other speakers, and we just walk in. Dog tired.

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I mean, it was bad. Well, you're mad. I'm just

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sad. So you're mad. I'm sad. I beat you up. And

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I'm thinking, we're about to talk on our amazing

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marriage right now. And Pastor Larry meets us.

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So he said, oh, you're up. You guys are up. I'm

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glad you're here. I didn't even have a chance

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to go to the bathroom or anything. Exactly, which

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is not good. So we jump up on the platform, and

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I start sharing about our amazing marriage as

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I'm just trying to crawl out from under getting

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blitzkrieged. And you said you needed to say

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something. I said, well, let me just say something.

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Because you just promised me you're saying nothing.

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I'm not saying anything. And he gave me the mic,

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and he never got it back. At all. The whole session.

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The whole time. I ended up speaking the whole

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time. We had a stage like that, a little taller,

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and I just jumped up and sat with my legs swinging

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while she stood there and gave 45 minutes. I

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don't even know what I said because it had to

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have been anointed because I don't remember it.

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You didn't bring up our fight. Actually, I think

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we did tell our own story, didn't we? I started

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off being real because, you know, marriage is

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hard. Relationships are hard, whether you're

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married. or you're single and you have relationships

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with people, or you have a relationship with

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a boyfriend or girlfriend, it's hard to navigate

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life. It is really hard, and that's why we need

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Jesus to help us navigate. And that was the only

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thing I had that morning, because I didn't have

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you. I was so mad at you. But I had to tap into

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what I knew and who I knew in order to... and

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accomplish what we felt like God wanted us to

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accomplish. And by the time you were just probably

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15 minutes into your speech, your 45 -minute

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speech, you had already, she had softened and

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shifted. It was amazing, just the transformation.

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And I thought to myself, I'm off the hook. And

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I know you guys know exactly what I'm feeling.

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I'm like, okay, this is going to end well. And

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it actually did. It turned into a beautiful time

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together. But we've never been invited back,

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so I don't know if it was that good or not. That

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is true. Come to think of it, let me share a

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scripture with you. I want to get some word on

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this because we're not just going to do a podcast

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without talking about the word of God because

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we want to know God's will, God's ways, but also

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God's word on things, amen? Especially this thing

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called marriage, but not just marriage. We're

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talking about relationships in general. I mean,

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we'll talk about marriage because of us, but

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we want to know if you're not married, listen,

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these are relational dynamics, and they're impacted

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by the word. So listen to this, Isaiah 62 .5.

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For as a young man marries a young woman, so

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shall your sons marry you. And as the bridegroom

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rejoices over the bride, I love that line, as

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the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall

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your God rejoice over you. Isn't that beautiful?

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That God rejoices over us just as we rejoice

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over the wife of our youth, the wife of our adulthood,

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the wife of our, what do you call it? I don't

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know what the word is. We're elderly now. Thank

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you. What? Aged. Oh. Thank you. That works. So

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that's where we are now, right? Right. So we

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rejoice over the wife that God has given us just

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as he rejoices over us. I love this. Hebrews

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13 .4. Listen, and here's what happens. I'm going

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to share something. This is kind of cool. Let

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marriage be held in honor among all. and let

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the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge

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the sexually immoral and adulterous. Now, I just

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read that last line, and all of you are camping

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out on that, because our mind goes places, and

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you're missing the first line. The first line

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is really the emphasis of this, and it is this,

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let marriage be held in honor among all. We're

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in a culture right now that has not held marriage

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in honor at all. In fact, there's been such an

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attack on marriages and on relationships. And

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why would that be? Why would it be that the enemy

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would attack marriages and relationships? Because

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marriage is the picture of Christ and the church.

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That's what a husband and wife, not a husband

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and husband or wife and wife. Thank you. But

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a husband and wife is the picture of Christ and

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the church. So he honors us as married. men and

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women. He honors us and we need to honor him.

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And we need to honor one another in that. So

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honor is a massive piece of this. And I love

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that. So let marriage be held in honor among

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all. So here's what marriage is. And you have

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to understand we have a large piece of who we

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are as a, as a church. This is our DNA that we

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have stepped into the space of wanting to engage

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culture with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Not

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so we can turn it red from blue or not so we

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can kick the wild lefties out because all that

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talk needs to go away. What we're trying to do

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is advance the kingdom of God in our time. Can

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I get an amen? So it's apolitical, not political.

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It's apolitical, but politics. only show up because

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they came to our front door. We have to deal

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with what comes our way. But the real issue here

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is not politics. It's not the flag or not the

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flag or the country or not. The issue is the

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kingdom of God being advanced and us being very

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vocal in the public square about the kingdom

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of God, but also about truth, about righteous.

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about godly justice. All of those are critically

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important. And so marriage is God's design to

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change a community. He brought the marriage into

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the world, this relationship in the Garden of

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Eden, we see it, in Genesis. And it was by design

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to reflect the relationship that God wanted to

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highlight. He wanted to put on display like a

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trophy. A trophy of grace. Not perfection, but

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although in the garden I would say it was pretty

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good, wouldn't you? At first. Things were looking

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good there, yeah. Things were happening. Listen

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to this. Marriage is God's design to change a

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community, to turn a state, and to restore a

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nation to the foot of the cross. Can I get an

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amen? This is about turning culture back to Him.

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That's what our marriages are supposed to do.

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But what has happened, marriages have been so

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disparaged in culture by media, by entertainment,

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by legacy and mainstream media news, to where

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now, there was a season, I think we're coming

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out of this, but there was a season where you

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almost felt like you had to apologize for being

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married. And there was this given... Kind of

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running joke with sitcoms and the way we've disparaged

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marriage that, oh, there's that old ball and

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chain. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that dripping

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faucet thing that's going on. Or we've emasculated

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men. Totally emasculated men. So much in the

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media and sitcoms. And now I look back at the

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sitcoms I used to laugh at and I think, oh, my

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gosh. They're putting the wife and the family

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are putting down the men. I think it was What

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About Raymond we were watching one day, and it

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dawned on us that they were decimating men. That

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was funny. It was cute. They were great actors

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and great comedians, and the lines were hilarious.

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And there was some degree you could relate to

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the in -laws and all that, but yet we were going,

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wait, we're now watching a man be destroyed,

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emasculated, and we're doing it for entertainment.

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We had to shift gears on how we were watching

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things. Listen to this. Marriage is the only

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human institution that God created that he spoke

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a blessing over. I want you to listen to this

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out of Genesis chapter 1. Do you want to read

00:13:20.379 --> 00:13:23.340
that verse? And God blessed them and God said

00:13:23.340 --> 00:13:26.620
to them, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the

00:13:26.620 --> 00:13:29.480
earth and subdue it and have dominion over the

00:13:29.480 --> 00:13:32.230
fish of the sea. and over the birds of the heavens,

00:13:32.409 --> 00:13:35.549
and over every living thing that moves on the

00:13:35.549 --> 00:13:39.370
earth. And God saw everything that he had made,

00:13:39.450 --> 00:13:42.610
and behold, it was very good. And there was evening,

00:13:42.789 --> 00:13:46.629
and there was morning, the sixth day. So as God

00:13:46.629 --> 00:13:48.690
is landing the plane on creation, I mean, he

00:13:48.690 --> 00:13:52.029
spent six days working, six days putting everything

00:13:52.029 --> 00:13:54.549
into place, the firmament in the sky, the earth.

00:13:55.100 --> 00:13:58.059
The terra firma that we live on and walk on and

00:13:58.059 --> 00:14:01.279
farm and till and everything we do. Putting all

00:14:01.279 --> 00:14:03.440
the natural resources into the earth. Putting

00:14:03.440 --> 00:14:08.399
everything together. The galaxies and the universes

00:14:08.399 --> 00:14:12.639
all there. And what he said, it was very good.

00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:17.000
It was very good. But what also was included

00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:20.960
in that was he made man and woman. He made male

00:14:20.960 --> 00:14:25.580
and female. Not male and male, not female and

00:14:25.580 --> 00:14:30.159
female, not 86 gender preference references,

00:14:30.419 --> 00:14:35.919
but two. One man, one woman. Can I get an amen

00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:40.320
from the church of Jesus Christ? And so he pronounced

00:14:40.320 --> 00:14:43.820
this blessing over them. Some have even postulated

00:14:43.820 --> 00:14:46.120
that it was almost like he sang or it was very

00:14:46.120 --> 00:14:49.440
poetic in nature that he like he sang this blessing

00:14:49.440 --> 00:14:52.429
over. It was from his heart, from God's heart.

00:14:52.549 --> 00:14:56.370
He instituted marriage and he blessed it. And

00:14:56.370 --> 00:14:58.429
whether your marriage is where you want it to

00:14:58.429 --> 00:15:01.409
be right now, because we're all a work in progress,

00:15:01.570 --> 00:15:04.389
are we not? By the way, our anniversary is at

00:15:04.389 --> 00:15:07.710
the end of November. That'll be 33 years for

00:15:07.710 --> 00:15:10.889
us in our marriage. So we're super excited about

00:15:10.889 --> 00:15:13.470
that. That's a bigger deal for us than it is

00:15:13.470 --> 00:15:15.870
for some of you because this is our second marriage.

00:15:16.590 --> 00:15:18.509
And we actually made a decision not to talk.

00:15:18.549 --> 00:15:20.450
We've shared our story before. Most of you have

00:15:20.450 --> 00:15:22.769
heard it. If you're new, you're going, you know,

00:15:22.789 --> 00:15:26.230
I mean, shock and all. But listen, guys, we have

00:15:26.230 --> 00:15:30.049
lived the human experience in all its beauty

00:15:30.049 --> 00:15:33.330
and all its ugliness. But at the end of the day,

00:15:33.470 --> 00:15:38.269
Jesus is Lord, but God. God is a God who redeems,

00:15:38.269 --> 00:15:42.720
who restores. who restores original intent. He's

00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:45.379
all about that. He brings us back to the Eden

00:15:45.379 --> 00:15:48.639
moment. He brings us back to our marriage altar.

00:15:48.740 --> 00:15:51.460
He brings us back to our vows. And whatever has

00:15:51.460 --> 00:15:53.679
been broken, whatever has been decimated, and

00:15:53.679 --> 00:15:55.700
by the way, there's an outright demonic attack

00:15:55.700 --> 00:15:58.679
on every marriage and relationship in this room,

00:15:58.860 --> 00:16:03.929
right here, right now. The enemy hates. what

00:16:03.929 --> 00:16:06.610
you have. And here's why the enemy comes after

00:16:06.610 --> 00:16:09.350
marriages and comes after relationships is because

00:16:09.350 --> 00:16:13.129
God created us first and foremost for relationship.

00:16:14.230 --> 00:16:17.690
That was your very reason for being created.

00:16:17.809 --> 00:16:20.610
Your very reason that God started this whole

00:16:20.610 --> 00:16:24.389
spinning ball called planet earth and mankind

00:16:24.389 --> 00:16:27.850
and humankind. It is all started because of relationship.

00:16:28.049 --> 00:16:30.990
So what does it not stand to reason that the

00:16:30.990 --> 00:16:35.200
enemy and his demonic hordes, Satan himself would

00:16:35.200 --> 00:16:38.000
come after marriages and relationships. We'll

00:16:38.000 --> 00:16:40.419
talk in a minute about how marriage is actually

00:16:40.419 --> 00:16:44.840
a picture of the bridegroom, Jesus Christ, and

00:16:44.840 --> 00:16:49.320
his relationship to the bride, the church. And

00:16:49.320 --> 00:16:51.419
we'll understand when we walk out of this room

00:16:51.419 --> 00:16:54.200
a little bit more about why we're even doing

00:16:54.200 --> 00:16:58.100
this and why we're fighting for it and why we

00:16:58.100 --> 00:17:01.700
work hard for it. Amen? All right, Ephesians

00:17:01.700 --> 00:17:05.869
5 .33. So Annette and I were introduced to a

00:17:05.869 --> 00:17:08.650
book years ago called Love and Respect. And the

00:17:08.650 --> 00:17:11.990
book is by Dr. Emerson Egricks. And it is one

00:17:11.990 --> 00:17:15.009
of those books that just the lead line, the first

00:17:15.009 --> 00:17:18.710
page of the first chapter, talks about what men

00:17:18.710 --> 00:17:23.750
and husbands need and what wives and women need.

00:17:23.930 --> 00:17:26.170
And so you want to share that verse there? Yes.

00:17:26.170 --> 00:17:29.710
Ephesians 5 .33. However, let each one of you

00:17:29.710 --> 00:17:35.640
love his wife. as himself and let the wife see

00:17:35.640 --> 00:17:39.400
that she respects her husband. Now, I highlighted

00:17:39.400 --> 00:17:42.980
two words in this, and it's love and respect.

00:17:43.660 --> 00:17:47.700
So talk about a female, about a woman, a wife,

00:17:47.900 --> 00:17:50.460
and why love is so important. Love is very, okay,

00:17:50.559 --> 00:17:54.039
so I'm just going to briefly say this. In my

00:17:54.039 --> 00:17:56.900
childhood, I had, there was no love in my childhood.

00:17:57.099 --> 00:18:01.039
I lived in a very dysfunctional family, and then

00:18:01.039 --> 00:18:04.460
I got married, and thought I was marrying a Christian.

00:18:04.599 --> 00:18:08.119
It wasn't an ideal marriage at all. It was a

00:18:08.119 --> 00:18:11.160
disaster. We were married for about 13 years,

00:18:11.240 --> 00:18:17.240
and I realized that the reason why I wanted to

00:18:17.240 --> 00:18:19.819
get married, the reason why I wanted a boyfriend,

00:18:20.119 --> 00:18:24.619
a lover, is because I had never felt loved. And

00:18:24.619 --> 00:18:28.039
so when you're a child who grows up in a dysfunctional

00:18:28.039 --> 00:18:31.859
home, And there is no love there. My parents

00:18:31.859 --> 00:18:34.279
never hugged me. They never told me they loved

00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:37.559
me. My dad told me he loved me on his deathbed

00:18:37.559 --> 00:18:41.799
two weeks before he died at the age of 72. It

00:18:41.799 --> 00:18:44.259
was very, and that was beautiful because he had

00:18:44.259 --> 00:18:47.599
just accepted Christ four weeks before that.

00:18:49.299 --> 00:18:52.559
I needed to hear those words. And so when I got

00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:54.940
married the first time, I just wanted someone

00:18:54.940 --> 00:18:58.799
to love me. I wanted children that I could love,

00:18:58.799 --> 00:19:02.039
that would love me back. This is such an innate

00:19:02.039 --> 00:19:06.759
desire in women to be loved and appreciated and

00:19:06.759 --> 00:19:10.079
adored. Because, you know, God says we're his

00:19:10.079 --> 00:19:14.859
beloved. And if we're his beloved, that means

00:19:14.859 --> 00:19:18.500
we want to be loved. And he can only give us,

00:19:18.559 --> 00:19:23.089
he can give us the ultimate love. But on this

00:19:23.089 --> 00:19:27.130
earth, we desire love from one another, but especially

00:19:27.130 --> 00:19:31.289
our spouses. And that was what was lacking in

00:19:31.289 --> 00:19:33.329
my first marriage. And I won't go into all the

00:19:33.329 --> 00:19:38.829
details, but when I married Jimmy and I met him,

00:19:38.890 --> 00:19:44.029
I had never felt loved ever in my life like I

00:19:44.029 --> 00:19:48.049
did when he... And I met and started courting

00:19:48.049 --> 00:19:52.609
when we got married. And I realized he had already

00:19:52.609 --> 00:19:58.410
been a pastor when we met. And I had never experienced

00:19:58.410 --> 00:20:03.589
love, but he knew the one who loved him. I knew

00:20:03.589 --> 00:20:06.730
God, but I didn't have the understanding he had

00:20:06.730 --> 00:20:10.410
of God because I was in such a dysfunctional

00:20:10.410 --> 00:20:14.240
life. for 30 years, because I got divorced at

00:20:14.240 --> 00:20:18.380
30. And so my whole childhood and then my marriage

00:20:18.380 --> 00:20:22.680
for 13 years was just full of hatred and discord

00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:26.799
and bitterness, and it was just not an ideal

00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:30.740
situation at all. And when I met Jimmy, he showed

00:20:30.740 --> 00:20:35.619
me who loves me unconditionally. And then he

00:20:35.619 --> 00:20:38.779
provided that love to me that I needed. But it

00:20:38.779 --> 00:20:43.440
took about two years for me to accept fully that

00:20:43.440 --> 00:20:46.019
love from him. Because when you have baggage

00:20:46.019 --> 00:20:48.500
from your first marriage, like we did, or from

00:20:48.500 --> 00:20:50.859
a relationship, if you have baggage from a relationship,

00:20:51.200 --> 00:20:56.329
it's hard to trust. And I remember... There was

00:20:56.329 --> 00:20:58.329
a time, I was telling Brian Mandel this this

00:20:58.329 --> 00:21:01.390
morning, there was a time when with my ex, I

00:21:01.390 --> 00:21:03.309
remember we were play fighting or something,

00:21:03.390 --> 00:21:05.930
and I had hit him by accident, you know, in the

00:21:05.930 --> 00:21:08.269
face, like, you know, just kind of by accident,

00:21:08.309 --> 00:21:12.769
and he hit me back, hit me. And it was by accident.

00:21:13.329 --> 00:21:17.440
And I remember when... Jimmy and I got married.

00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:21.880
Something like that happened with us. And I accidentally

00:21:21.880 --> 00:21:23.900
hit you in the face or shoulder or something.

00:21:24.019 --> 00:21:26.859
And I went like this because I thought he was

00:21:26.859 --> 00:21:28.839
going to hit me back because that was what I

00:21:28.839 --> 00:21:31.759
was used to. That was what my dad would have

00:21:31.759 --> 00:21:36.559
done too. That was the life I lived. And he stopped

00:21:36.559 --> 00:21:39.420
and he goes, what are you doing? And I said,

00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:41.160
you're not going to hit me back. And he said,

00:21:41.240 --> 00:21:44.539
I wouldn't hit you back. I wouldn't hit you,

00:21:44.559 --> 00:21:50.809
period. No man should hit a woman. And it took

00:21:50.809 --> 00:21:53.349
me for surprise because I literally thought,

00:21:53.529 --> 00:21:57.390
because I watched it with my mom and dad and

00:21:57.390 --> 00:22:01.069
with my own life, with my ex, and I thought,

00:22:01.109 --> 00:22:03.369
okay, this is too good to be true. And it really

00:22:03.369 --> 00:22:06.730
took about two years for me to understand that

00:22:06.730 --> 00:22:10.509
the true love is giving yourself to that person

00:22:10.509 --> 00:22:16.099
and not hurting them. two years of major adjustments

00:22:16.099 --> 00:22:19.200
because we both drug our Samsonite into the relationship.

00:22:19.519 --> 00:22:22.180
You know what I'm saying? I mean, I had big bags.

00:22:22.319 --> 00:22:24.940
We both brought our bags. And here's the thing.

00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:30.019
I was looking up statistics. The chances or the

00:22:30.019 --> 00:22:32.700
statistical percentage of why people would...

00:22:33.710 --> 00:22:37.170
Got a little hot there. Why people divorce is

00:22:37.170 --> 00:22:39.890
anywhere from about 50 to 60 percent. You'll

00:22:39.890 --> 00:22:43.269
see different values assigned. But for a second

00:22:43.269 --> 00:22:46.750
marriage, that goes up from 60 to 70 percent

00:22:46.750 --> 00:22:49.750
potential for. In other words, when you step

00:22:49.750 --> 00:22:52.089
into another marriage, you're bringing the brokenness

00:22:52.089 --> 00:22:54.890
that happened in the first, which means it creates

00:22:54.890 --> 00:22:58.180
a lot more opportunity. for the enemy to get

00:22:58.180 --> 00:23:00.720
in and destroy because that's what he does. John

00:23:00.720 --> 00:23:04.960
10 .10 says the enemy comes to steal, kill, and

00:23:04.960 --> 00:23:09.799
destroy. And that's his M .O. for you. And so

00:23:09.799 --> 00:23:12.039
there are people in here, and there will be people

00:23:12.039 --> 00:23:14.380
in the second service, that right now you're

00:23:14.380 --> 00:23:17.019
in a struggling season. You're in a time where

00:23:17.019 --> 00:23:19.940
things are not clicking. When you're not on the

00:23:19.940 --> 00:23:22.619
same page, you feel like you've... drifted away

00:23:22.619 --> 00:23:25.460
or ran away one way or the other, but it's not

00:23:25.460 --> 00:23:28.079
happening like you want it to happen. We want

00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:30.240
you to know our first two years were a train

00:23:30.240 --> 00:23:34.240
wreck. We were trying to figure this out. I had

00:23:34.240 --> 00:23:36.839
never had children in my life, but I was a youth

00:23:36.839 --> 00:23:38.920
minister. So I knew everything about raising

00:23:38.920 --> 00:23:43.039
kids. So I thought that that was over within

00:23:43.039 --> 00:23:47.450
about 24 hours. Kids have been playing him the

00:23:47.450 --> 00:23:49.670
whole time he was a youth minister. Totally true.

00:23:49.789 --> 00:23:52.690
I was a total child advocate until we got married.

00:23:52.789 --> 00:23:56.170
I had stepkids now in my house who were 11 and

00:23:56.170 --> 00:23:59.390
13. And suddenly I became a parent advocate.

00:23:59.529 --> 00:24:01.369
My youth group didn't know what hit them. They

00:24:01.369 --> 00:24:03.990
were like, wait, what happened? And so because

00:24:03.990 --> 00:24:08.309
I realized I had been duped for one, but also

00:24:08.309 --> 00:24:10.289
because I'd never had children of my own or in

00:24:10.289 --> 00:24:13.089
my home, I didn't realize there was a lot more

00:24:13.089 --> 00:24:15.500
dynamics happening for those people. These poor

00:24:15.500 --> 00:24:18.720
parents that I was thinking were so terrible.

00:24:18.920 --> 00:24:23.519
And so two years, we took that adjustment. God

00:24:23.519 --> 00:24:25.960
gave grace. And this is what you have to understand.

00:24:26.019 --> 00:24:28.039
When the Bible says that we're to come boldly

00:24:28.039 --> 00:24:29.740
before the throne of grace in Hebrews chapter

00:24:29.740 --> 00:24:32.500
4, it says come boldly before the throne of grace.

00:24:32.579 --> 00:24:34.660
I'm going to say this to you as a prophetic word

00:24:34.660 --> 00:24:37.500
to you. Some of you need to get bold with God.

00:24:37.660 --> 00:24:40.180
And I don't mean because you're so amazing or

00:24:40.180 --> 00:24:42.480
you're so strong. It's because you're so weak.

00:24:42.960 --> 00:24:46.059
You need to go before God and literally come

00:24:46.059 --> 00:24:48.839
boldly into his presence, boldly before the throne

00:24:48.839 --> 00:24:50.640
of grace. And here's the promise from scripture.

00:24:50.799 --> 00:24:54.000
And God has never, never given up on this promise

00:24:54.000 --> 00:24:55.559
for me. He's never turned his back. It's this.

00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:58.980
The Bible says you will find mercy and grace

00:24:58.980 --> 00:25:02.839
to help in your time of need. I won't ask for

00:25:02.839 --> 00:25:05.500
a show of hands, but I'm one. I'll show my hand.

00:25:05.640 --> 00:25:09.480
I'm a guy who needs mercy and grace to help often.

00:25:10.240 --> 00:25:13.819
Thank you for being honest out there. I even

00:25:13.819 --> 00:25:15.420
said you didn't have to do that, but you did

00:25:15.420 --> 00:25:17.920
it anyway. So I appreciate that because we are.

00:25:17.940 --> 00:25:19.640
We're in this together, guys. We're trying to

00:25:19.640 --> 00:25:22.220
figure it out. And we're navigating the complexities

00:25:22.220 --> 00:25:25.960
of a culture that is set against you. You've

00:25:25.960 --> 00:25:27.920
heard me talk about John Eldridge where he said

00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:31.500
that there is an assignment on your heart. The

00:25:31.500 --> 00:25:34.799
enemy wants you to lose heart in everything you

00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:37.359
do. Because when you lose heart, you can't go

00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:39.900
to the throne boldly. You can't come with confidence.

00:25:40.220 --> 00:25:42.839
And so there's an assignment on you. But that

00:25:42.839 --> 00:25:44.960
assignment is really not just on your heart.

00:25:45.059 --> 00:25:48.079
It's to decimate any relationships you have,

00:25:48.180 --> 00:25:51.200
including your marriage. So let me just share

00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:53.160
this about marriage. Marriage is a covenant.

00:25:53.519 --> 00:25:56.059
We're a world of contracts here in the West.

00:25:56.220 --> 00:25:58.380
I mean, it's all about we do contracts for everything.

00:25:58.539 --> 00:26:01.279
We get the fine print. We sign it. And it's about

00:26:01.279 --> 00:26:04.500
worth as much as the paper you sign on it and

00:26:04.500 --> 00:26:06.299
the ink that's there sometimes. And we treat

00:26:06.299 --> 00:26:09.819
contracts like this. But God set up marriage

00:26:09.819 --> 00:26:12.980
as a covenant relationship. And a covenant relationship

00:26:12.980 --> 00:26:18.819
is much deeper. It's long -lasting. It has blessings.

00:26:19.680 --> 00:26:22.079
and cursings. If you ever read Deuteronomy chapter

00:26:22.079 --> 00:26:25.920
27, the first half of the book, 14 verses straight

00:26:25.920 --> 00:26:30.079
up, blessings if you heed his word. And then

00:26:30.079 --> 00:26:33.720
the next 14 verses are cursings or curses if

00:26:33.720 --> 00:26:36.759
you don't. Now, I want to say some things that

00:26:36.759 --> 00:26:39.599
may be hard to digest, but it's very important

00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:42.660
to understand. There are people in this room

00:26:42.660 --> 00:26:45.359
that right now are operating under a curse. Now,

00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:47.900
let me define curse before you go all witch doctor

00:26:47.900 --> 00:26:51.269
on me. We're not talking about some spooky magic

00:26:51.269 --> 00:26:55.210
here. All a curse is, let me define it and clarify

00:26:55.210 --> 00:26:56.869
it. You should write this down. This is important

00:26:56.869 --> 00:26:59.230
because you might need to remind yourself. A

00:26:59.230 --> 00:27:02.589
curse is simply this. It is an empowerment to

00:27:02.589 --> 00:27:07.869
fail. So cursing is empowered to fail. So when

00:27:07.869 --> 00:27:10.190
we operate under a curse, we've now been empowered

00:27:10.190 --> 00:27:13.250
to fail as opposed to blessing. Let me tell you

00:27:13.250 --> 00:27:16.049
what blessing is defined. It is an empowerment

00:27:16.049 --> 00:27:21.599
or empowered to succeed. That's all it is. Blessings

00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:23.779
and cursings. The scripture is very clear about

00:27:23.779 --> 00:27:26.440
this. Deuteronomy 17 says, these things will

00:27:26.440 --> 00:27:29.500
be yours if you align with my way, my will, my

00:27:29.500 --> 00:27:32.660
heart, my word. If you'll do what I told you,

00:27:32.700 --> 00:27:36.359
if you will honor me by aligning with me, I will

00:27:36.359 --> 00:27:39.660
bless you. But if you don't, he says, there will

00:27:39.660 --> 00:27:41.859
be cursings that follow. Now, some of you are

00:27:41.859 --> 00:27:43.099
sitting there going, well, wait a minute, Pastor.

00:27:43.240 --> 00:27:45.720
We're New Testament believers. We're in the new

00:27:45.720 --> 00:27:48.519
covenant now. Let me tell you something. Covenant

00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:50.660
is covenant. It doesn't get changed. It doesn't

00:27:50.660 --> 00:27:54.539
get shifted. There are things, and we know families

00:27:54.539 --> 00:27:59.259
who have generations that seem to be beset. It

00:27:59.259 --> 00:28:01.460
seems like they can never catch a break. They

00:28:01.460 --> 00:28:03.700
can never seem to clear the hurdle. They can

00:28:03.700 --> 00:28:06.099
never get past the curve. You may know what I'm

00:28:06.099 --> 00:28:08.799
talking about. It seems like their great -grandparents

00:28:08.799 --> 00:28:11.480
were in prison. They had problems. They had issues.

00:28:11.880 --> 00:28:15.259
Then the next, the grandparents had issues. The

00:28:15.259 --> 00:28:17.880
same kinds of things. You'll see these things

00:28:17.880 --> 00:28:20.359
passed down from generation to generation. The

00:28:20.359 --> 00:28:23.680
Bible calls them generational iniquities. And

00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:25.920
the Bible even says they can pass seven generations,

00:28:26.099 --> 00:28:28.240
which is actually a complete number, which means

00:28:28.240 --> 00:28:31.680
it can go unless it's broken ad infinitum. It

00:28:31.680 --> 00:28:34.500
can just keep going. And so it's important to

00:28:34.500 --> 00:28:36.839
understand what a blessing is and what a cursing

00:28:36.839 --> 00:28:39.799
is. And a cursing is simply an empowerment to

00:28:39.799 --> 00:28:42.619
fail. So let me interject something here. So

00:28:42.619 --> 00:28:47.660
we had moved to Southern California. I had gone

00:28:47.660 --> 00:28:52.210
on staff as a school teacher at a school. Christian

00:28:52.210 --> 00:28:56.369
school, Jimmy was a youth pastor, and we read

00:28:56.369 --> 00:28:59.309
the book Bondage Breaker, and it changed our

00:28:59.309 --> 00:29:02.769
life. And what it did is it helped us see that

00:29:02.769 --> 00:29:06.759
there are... demonic forces at work trying to

00:29:06.759 --> 00:29:10.200
destroy us every day, every minute. Those voices

00:29:10.200 --> 00:29:12.539
you hear in your head that are negative, those

00:29:12.539 --> 00:29:14.819
are demonic. That is not your voice. It sounds

00:29:14.819 --> 00:29:17.440
like your voice, but they're demonic. And we

00:29:17.440 --> 00:29:20.240
realized as we were reading this book and we

00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:22.640
had gotten a hold of a couple of other books

00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:25.640
that we had come into our marriage with so much

00:29:25.640 --> 00:29:30.980
baggage that we needed to repent and we need

00:29:30.980 --> 00:29:34.259
to break. these agreements with all of these

00:29:34.259 --> 00:29:37.940
besetting sins, these sins, these challenges

00:29:37.940 --> 00:29:40.779
that we have had, that we have caused from our

00:29:40.779 --> 00:29:46.500
past. And so we got that book and we began to,

00:29:46.640 --> 00:29:48.900
actually we got a piece of paper and we began,

00:29:49.019 --> 00:29:51.359
remember this, we wrote down everything we've

00:29:51.359 --> 00:29:53.500
ever done wrong from the time we could remember.

00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:57.579
And it took a long time. Not for him, but for

00:29:57.579 --> 00:30:01.259
me. For him, it was half a page. Mine was 10

00:30:01.259 --> 00:30:05.640
pages. Not true. You're kidding. But that book

00:30:05.640 --> 00:30:08.660
helped us so much to see that God wants to make

00:30:08.660 --> 00:30:12.559
us whole. And he wants to make us whole so that

00:30:12.559 --> 00:30:16.019
we can be good together. And if one of us is

00:30:16.019 --> 00:30:18.380
broken, it won't work. If both of us are broken,

00:30:18.460 --> 00:30:21.220
it really won't work. But if we're both whole,

00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:24.420
we can have an amazing marriage. Not perfect,

00:30:24.460 --> 00:30:28.369
because we still live in this. world. So it's

00:30:28.369 --> 00:30:31.509
hard to navigate this world without Christ. You

00:30:31.509 --> 00:30:34.349
can't do it. You just can't do it. You have to

00:30:34.349 --> 00:30:37.710
have Christ to navigate the world, but we needed

00:30:37.710 --> 00:30:41.730
to be whole together because we weren't, it wasn't

00:30:41.730 --> 00:30:44.069
cutting it for us because we were bringing all

00:30:44.069 --> 00:30:46.910
this baggage in him from his first marriage,

00:30:46.970 --> 00:30:50.309
me from mine and, and pass. You had a good upbringing,

00:30:50.470 --> 00:30:55.380
which was good. So I literally, I even did this

00:30:55.380 --> 00:30:57.200
last night at 3 o 'clock in the morning. I was

00:30:57.200 --> 00:31:00.779
thinking back of all the things that I had broken

00:31:00.779 --> 00:31:04.680
off in my life. And I just did it again. I just

00:31:04.680 --> 00:31:08.099
did it again. Because I wanted to be so pure

00:31:08.099 --> 00:31:13.299
at heart to do this podcast, this church service

00:31:13.299 --> 00:31:18.900
today. Because I want to be shown faithful. I

00:31:18.900 --> 00:31:23.559
want him to be so proud that we worked hard in

00:31:23.559 --> 00:31:28.079
our marriage to become whole. Like I said, not

00:31:28.079 --> 00:31:30.869
perfect, but whole. So let me give you a couple

00:31:30.869 --> 00:31:34.269
of things. We said about when we first got married,

00:31:34.349 --> 00:31:37.289
we came up with these core values. Some of them

00:31:37.289 --> 00:31:39.970
have morphed and grown and changed over the years.

00:31:40.369 --> 00:31:43.829
But these are some things that we laid down as

00:31:43.829 --> 00:31:46.730
core values that we will not violate. We made

00:31:46.730 --> 00:31:48.630
a commitment to one another, we will not violate

00:31:48.630 --> 00:31:51.369
these. And so the first one is this, and I love

00:31:51.369 --> 00:31:53.829
this, and we have to, and this is number one,

00:31:53.970 --> 00:31:58.150
keep pursuing the heart of the other. It's so

00:31:58.150 --> 00:32:02.480
easy to to to you to win as though getting married

00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:05.779
is the touchdown family getting married is the

00:32:05.779 --> 00:32:08.079
coin toss the game that's not even the kickoff

00:32:08.079 --> 00:32:10.099
you know what i'm saying but we treat it like

00:32:10.099 --> 00:32:12.839
it's the goal line and when we do that we end

00:32:12.839 --> 00:32:16.380
up we stop courting one another we stop pursuing

00:32:16.380 --> 00:32:19.539
one another we stop doing the work that we did

00:32:19.539 --> 00:32:22.000
up until the wedding Anybody know what I'm talking

00:32:22.000 --> 00:32:23.700
about? No, no, no, don't. Don't even acknowledge.

00:32:23.839 --> 00:32:27.059
Don't even move your head. Just keep it to yourself.

00:32:27.420 --> 00:32:30.500
So we will say yes, we get that. Because once

00:32:30.500 --> 00:32:32.460
we got married, you know, life started happening.

00:32:32.539 --> 00:32:34.559
We were back in the jobs. We were back at work.

00:32:34.900 --> 00:32:37.940
I was dealing with new kids, teenagers. Hello.

00:32:38.180 --> 00:32:40.819
Whoa. I thought I knew everything. My oldest

00:32:40.819 --> 00:32:43.849
daughter was. One of the most rebellious teenagers

00:32:43.849 --> 00:32:46.289
I've ever been around in my life. And she did

00:32:46.289 --> 00:32:48.630
not like Jimmy. She put me through the paces.

00:32:48.670 --> 00:32:51.309
Let's just put it that way. She was testing every

00:32:51.309 --> 00:32:54.529
boundary possible. She just didn't trust him

00:32:54.529 --> 00:32:56.470
because she thought he was just like everybody

00:32:56.470 --> 00:33:00.430
else that was in my life. So now she loves me.

00:33:00.710 --> 00:33:02.769
Another core value that goes along with that,

00:33:02.789 --> 00:33:04.069
and we're going to land the plane because we

00:33:04.069 --> 00:33:06.569
can always do this again. He wants to do it again

00:33:06.569 --> 00:33:08.549
next week. This one's important. This one's important.

00:33:08.549 --> 00:33:14.220
Listen, never stop fighting. flirting. You think

00:33:14.220 --> 00:33:18.559
that's a joke. I'm dead serious right now. Be

00:33:18.559 --> 00:33:24.839
and stay playful and keep flirting. Anytime we're

00:33:24.839 --> 00:33:27.359
out and about, I flirt with her. If people watch

00:33:27.359 --> 00:33:29.539
us at the gym, it could be bad because if they

00:33:29.539 --> 00:33:32.960
read lips, because I say things to her across

00:33:32.960 --> 00:33:36.480
the gym through 50 people, that if they're reading

00:33:36.480 --> 00:33:38.579
lips, they'd be going, I think that guy just

00:33:38.579 --> 00:33:44.160
said something naughty. Because we flirt constantly.

00:33:44.799 --> 00:33:48.279
And we keep it fun. And we keep it light. Now,

00:33:48.380 --> 00:33:51.440
I say constantly. We have bad days. We have moments.

00:33:51.660 --> 00:33:53.259
We have more good days than that. Stuff happens.

00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:56.319
Life happens. Shift happens. So we know that

00:33:56.319 --> 00:33:57.220
these things. Be careful how you say that. I

00:33:57.220 --> 00:33:59.720
know. Be careful with that one. So never stop

00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:00.960
flirting. We'll give you a couple more. Then

00:34:00.960 --> 00:34:02.160
we're going to land the plane because this is

00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:04.119
too important to just. I don't want to cheat

00:34:04.119 --> 00:34:07.539
anything. This may be one of the most important

00:34:07.539 --> 00:34:09.500
that we came up from the beginning. Why don't

00:34:09.500 --> 00:34:14.190
you share it? No secrets, no leverage. Explain

00:34:14.190 --> 00:34:18.650
that. This is a value that we instilled in our

00:34:18.650 --> 00:34:22.130
life because that's what God instills in us is

00:34:22.130 --> 00:34:24.489
he doesn't want us to have secrets. Nothing is

00:34:24.489 --> 00:34:27.849
really in secret to God anyway. But we made a

00:34:27.849 --> 00:34:31.090
decision that no matter what, we would always

00:34:31.090 --> 00:34:35.630
let each other in on everything that is in our

00:34:35.630 --> 00:34:38.469
mind, everything that has gone on in our past.

00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:42.420
This man knows everything about me. I have no

00:34:42.420 --> 00:34:46.000
secrets with him. And in essence, we do this

00:34:46.000 --> 00:34:48.920
in the pulpit. We're very transparent in the

00:34:48.920 --> 00:34:51.579
pulpit because we want you to see we're just

00:34:51.579 --> 00:34:53.960
real people who have real problems just like

00:34:53.960 --> 00:34:57.000
anybody else. But God, that's the difference.

00:34:57.280 --> 00:34:59.800
Because God can get us through those things.

00:35:00.119 --> 00:35:05.300
And so we have made a commitment. to not have

00:35:05.300 --> 00:35:08.639
any secrets with each other and to be as transparent

00:35:08.639 --> 00:35:11.599
as we can. Obviously, we can't be fully because,

00:35:11.679 --> 00:35:13.500
you know, there's things that are just between

00:35:13.500 --> 00:35:17.860
a husband and wife. to be transparent so that

00:35:17.860 --> 00:35:20.440
we, because nothing is ever wasted. That's one

00:35:20.440 --> 00:35:23.019
of the things I know about God. We went through

00:35:23.019 --> 00:35:26.719
a divorce, yes, but now we can understand people

00:35:26.719 --> 00:35:29.059
that have been through a divorce and we can help

00:35:29.059 --> 00:35:32.159
them through it. We can help them see that there

00:35:32.159 --> 00:35:35.460
is life after divorce, that they can be happy

00:35:35.460 --> 00:35:39.019
again, that it's a matter of getting whole, choosing.

00:35:39.849 --> 00:35:42.750
Making the right choices. Keeping God in the

00:35:42.750 --> 00:35:45.030
center of your life no matter what. Because two

00:35:45.030 --> 00:35:48.429
people who love God can have a great marriage.

00:35:48.750 --> 00:35:52.590
But two people who don't, cannot. Because you

00:35:52.590 --> 00:35:56.170
have to put God first. He has to be the one.

00:35:56.210 --> 00:36:01.289
You obey Him first before you obey your spouse.

00:36:01.489 --> 00:36:04.510
It's all about Him. And both of you should come

00:36:04.510 --> 00:36:09.519
into an agreement to... Obey and walk in His

00:36:09.519 --> 00:36:12.239
Word. And when you can, it's a no -fail situation.

00:36:14.019 --> 00:36:17.840
Stocks will fail. But I guarantee you, your wife

00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:21.199
and your husband, your marriage will not fail

00:36:21.199 --> 00:36:25.619
if you put God in the center. Period. That was

00:36:25.619 --> 00:36:27.860
the difference in my first marriage and Jimmy's

00:36:27.860 --> 00:36:30.480
first marriage. God was not in the center. He

00:36:30.480 --> 00:36:33.599
was somewhere down the line. Good word. Wow.

00:36:33.780 --> 00:36:36.500
You better preach, girl. I'm going to land with

00:36:36.500 --> 00:36:38.739
this one and we want our worship team to go ahead

00:36:38.739 --> 00:36:40.119
and make their way up. But we are going to show

00:36:40.119 --> 00:36:42.340
a video, a short clip. It's only a minute and

00:36:42.340 --> 00:36:44.059
a few seconds. Oh, you want to do that next week?

00:36:44.059 --> 00:36:45.619
I do. No, I want to do this. I want to end with

00:36:45.619 --> 00:36:47.880
this because this is so important. Okay. Because

00:36:47.880 --> 00:36:49.659
anything can happen between now and next week.

00:36:49.679 --> 00:36:50.739
You know what I mean? We're going to need this.

00:36:51.019 --> 00:36:53.739
Okay. So here it is. This is our next core value.

00:36:53.920 --> 00:36:56.820
And we're going to show a video that really exemplifies

00:36:56.820 --> 00:37:00.059
this on the world stage. And it is this. It's

00:37:00.059 --> 00:37:03.550
called Radical Forgiveness. I don't mean just

00:37:03.550 --> 00:37:05.190
forgiveness. Sometimes we say forgiveness and

00:37:05.190 --> 00:37:06.849
we throw it around and it becomes a familiar

00:37:06.849 --> 00:37:10.269
term. And sometimes with familiarity comes a

00:37:10.269 --> 00:37:12.789
sense of not, it loses its gravity. It loses

00:37:12.789 --> 00:37:15.880
its weight in our lives. It's just like rote

00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:18.039
memory. You just spew something out, but you're

00:37:18.039 --> 00:37:19.199
not really thinking about what you're saying.

00:37:19.360 --> 00:37:21.519
And forgiveness can become that way. Oh, yeah,

00:37:21.579 --> 00:37:23.139
yeah, I'll forgive everybody. I forgive everybody.

00:37:23.260 --> 00:37:26.159
But radical forgiveness is taking it to the next

00:37:26.159 --> 00:37:28.539
level. It's what Jesus did on the cross when

00:37:28.539 --> 00:37:31.440
he said, Father, say it with me. Forgive them,

00:37:31.539 --> 00:37:34.599
for they don't know what they're doing. Or they

00:37:34.599 --> 00:37:37.659
know not what they say. However you do it, if

00:37:37.659 --> 00:37:44.449
you're King James. So it's critical that... We

00:37:44.449 --> 00:37:48.309
learn in terms of love and respect to die to

00:37:48.309 --> 00:37:53.289
ourselves and forgive often and much radically

00:37:53.289 --> 00:37:55.110
over the top. Now, I want to show you a video.

00:37:55.130 --> 00:37:58.469
But also, the number one thing you need to do

00:37:58.469 --> 00:38:02.329
first is forgive yourself. And a lot of people

00:38:02.329 --> 00:38:06.130
have an easy time forgiving others, but they

00:38:06.130 --> 00:38:08.630
can't forgive themselves. And when I went through

00:38:08.630 --> 00:38:11.940
my divorce, I had to go through a time where

00:38:11.940 --> 00:38:15.800
I asked God to forgive me because I knew that

00:38:15.800 --> 00:38:19.159
wasn't his best, but it was what had to happen.

00:38:19.639 --> 00:38:22.199
But it wasn't his best because if two people

00:38:22.199 --> 00:38:25.599
don't agree to get help and work on it, it will

00:38:25.599 --> 00:38:29.920
not work. But I asked God to forgive me because

00:38:29.920 --> 00:38:32.440
that's the grace of God when you get a divorce.

00:38:33.380 --> 00:38:36.500
And no matter what sin you've ever committed,

00:38:36.739 --> 00:38:39.760
he's going to forgive you, period, because his

00:38:39.760 --> 00:38:42.059
mercies are new every day. Beautiful, beautiful.

00:38:42.360 --> 00:38:44.760
Can we show that video real quick? Cass, we're

00:38:44.760 --> 00:38:51.639
going to show this video. My husband, Charlie,

00:38:51.760 --> 00:39:02.150
he wanted to save young men. just like the one

00:39:02.150 --> 00:39:25.010
who took his life. That young man. That young

00:39:25.010 --> 00:39:34.639
man. On the cross, our Savior said, Father, forgive

00:39:34.639 --> 00:39:41.699
them for they not know what they do. That man,

00:39:41.920 --> 00:40:41.239
that young man, I forgive him. So after we wrote

00:40:41.239 --> 00:40:44.599
down everything that we wanted God to remove

00:40:44.599 --> 00:40:47.739
from our life and forgive us for the past sins,

00:40:47.940 --> 00:40:51.420
I called my ex -husband. We had been married

00:40:51.420 --> 00:40:58.300
a few years. And I called him and I said, I just

00:40:58.300 --> 00:41:05.699
want to ask for your forgiveness. And it takes

00:41:05.699 --> 00:41:08.570
two people, even though one could be, a really

00:41:08.570 --> 00:41:12.250
bad person. It takes two. And so I wanted to

00:41:12.250 --> 00:41:14.389
admit to my part. I didn't have to mention what

00:41:14.389 --> 00:41:16.590
it was. I just said, I just want to, I just want

00:41:16.590 --> 00:41:21.110
you to know to, I forgive you. Now he didn't

00:41:21.110 --> 00:41:24.469
say anything to me other than, okay, goodbye.

00:41:27.289 --> 00:41:31.050
But I did what I knew God needed and wanted me

00:41:31.050 --> 00:41:34.150
to do because in order for him to work in my

00:41:34.150 --> 00:41:38.329
life, I needed. to walk in that forgiveness with

00:41:38.329 --> 00:41:42.070
my ex. It took a while to get there, but once

00:41:42.070 --> 00:41:45.590
I did, it was like, wait, lift it off my shoulder.

00:41:45.750 --> 00:41:48.650
Now, it didn't condone anything he did to me.

00:41:48.769 --> 00:41:51.690
Believe me, it didn't condone it. I wasn't saying

00:41:51.690 --> 00:41:56.909
what you did was good, but I gave it to God to

00:41:56.909 --> 00:41:59.789
judge. It wasn't for me to judge. I was able

00:41:59.789 --> 00:42:05.510
to give it all to him. Ephesians 4 .31, we'll

00:42:05.510 --> 00:42:07.590
end with the scripture and then I'm going to

00:42:07.590 --> 00:42:10.690
ask you to pray. Let all bitterness and wrath

00:42:10.690 --> 00:42:13.530
and anger and clamor and slander be put away

00:42:13.530 --> 00:42:17.809
from you along with all malice. Be kind. He flips

00:42:17.809 --> 00:42:20.150
the script now. He gave the negative. Now he's

00:42:20.150 --> 00:42:23.210
given the life giving. Be kind to one another.

00:42:25.530 --> 00:42:31.309
Tenderhearted. Forgiving one another. As God

00:42:31.309 --> 00:42:36.079
in Christ forgave you. And I would say you need

00:42:36.079 --> 00:42:38.139
to extend that. You already said it in that very

00:42:38.139 --> 00:42:42.039
well. You need to forgive yourself. It's hard

00:42:42.039 --> 00:42:46.940
to give away something we have not in turn internalized

00:42:46.940 --> 00:42:53.199
and received for ourself. But God, would you

00:42:53.199 --> 00:42:56.219
bow your heads and close your eyes? Worship team,

00:42:56.300 --> 00:42:59.780
if y 'all would make your way up. With our heads

00:42:59.780 --> 00:43:01.679
bowed and our eyes closed, I'm going to ask you

00:43:01.679 --> 00:43:05.730
to do something. Scripture makes it clear if

00:43:05.730 --> 00:43:07.530
we have ought against anyone, we're actually

00:43:07.530 --> 00:43:10.590
supposed to leave our offering there at the altar

00:43:10.590 --> 00:43:15.170
and go and be reconciled. And like Annette said,

00:43:15.349 --> 00:43:18.789
reconciliation takes two people. But freedom

00:43:18.789 --> 00:43:24.250
only takes one. That means you can be free. And

00:43:24.250 --> 00:43:26.230
there are even times when it's not appropriate

00:43:26.230 --> 00:43:28.889
to go to someone else. There's been massive trauma.

00:43:29.230 --> 00:43:32.960
There's been horrible things. It doesn't do any

00:43:32.960 --> 00:43:35.300
good. That's casting pearls before swine, so

00:43:35.300 --> 00:43:37.960
to speak. And that's not always ideal. So I'm

00:43:37.960 --> 00:43:39.500
not telling you you need to go out and make a

00:43:39.500 --> 00:43:41.900
phone call or write a letter. The Holy Spirit

00:43:41.900 --> 00:43:43.639
will tell you. He'll guide you and order your

00:43:43.639 --> 00:43:46.940
steps if you're willing. But more than likely,

00:43:47.059 --> 00:43:51.000
you need to start with you right now. Scripture

00:43:51.000 --> 00:43:53.639
says that God so loved the world that he gave

00:43:53.639 --> 00:43:57.519
his only begotten son that whosoever believes

00:43:57.519 --> 00:44:01.900
in him shall not perish. but will have everlasting

00:44:01.900 --> 00:44:05.780
life. So there's a belief here that we have to

00:44:05.780 --> 00:44:10.380
have, and the basis of belief is trust. You cannot

00:44:10.380 --> 00:44:14.119
have faith without trust. They work hand in glove.

00:44:16.039 --> 00:44:19.860
And so you have to take this step of faith and

00:44:19.860 --> 00:44:24.039
believe and trust that God loves you so much.

00:44:24.489 --> 00:44:26.789
In spite of what you've done, in spite of what

00:44:26.789 --> 00:44:29.570
you've said, in spite of actions, past mistakes,

00:44:29.889 --> 00:44:35.070
missteps, mishaps, etc. Poor decisions. And you

00:44:35.070 --> 00:44:39.690
have to receive His love, His mercy, His grace,

00:44:39.690 --> 00:44:48.550
and His forgiveness for you. And once you do

00:44:48.550 --> 00:44:52.929
that, it's amazing how easy it is to turn that.

00:44:53.519 --> 00:44:56.800
And forgive others. But you have to receive it

00:44:56.800 --> 00:44:59.820
for yourself first. So with every head bowed,

00:44:59.880 --> 00:45:04.320
every eye closed. Would you in your own way.

00:45:05.119 --> 00:45:07.599
If you feel so led. I'm not going to coerce.

00:45:07.659 --> 00:45:10.739
I'm not here to manipulate a decision or a response.

00:45:11.139 --> 00:45:13.780
I don't even want that. All I want is for you

00:45:13.780 --> 00:45:17.360
to be free. And that will not come by me manipulating

00:45:17.360 --> 00:45:20.219
a response. It will only come by as an act of

00:45:20.219 --> 00:45:24.010
your will. An act of your choice. To say, Lord,

00:45:24.170 --> 00:45:30.550
will you forgive me? And then, by faith, you

00:45:30.550 --> 00:45:35.250
say, Lord, thank you for forgiving me. When you

00:45:35.250 --> 00:45:39.110
do that, you now position yourself to forgive

00:45:39.110 --> 00:45:43.750
any and everyone who has ever done anything against

00:45:43.750 --> 00:45:46.469
you. But you have to receive it for yourself.

00:45:48.429 --> 00:45:50.469
So can we just bow our heads for a moment? And

00:45:50.469 --> 00:45:53.610
if you're sensing that, feeling that, that's

00:45:53.610 --> 00:45:56.070
resonating in your heart, resonating in your

00:45:56.070 --> 00:45:59.690
mind, in your spirit, would you just say, Lord,

00:45:59.969 --> 00:46:07.210
I receive your forgiveness. And you can do it

00:46:07.210 --> 00:46:09.570
as an act of faith. You can do it as an act of

00:46:09.570 --> 00:46:13.989
your will. I'm not saying you have to feel it.

00:46:14.329 --> 00:46:18.039
I'm saying you have to do it. And there's a difference.

00:46:18.639 --> 00:46:22.239
So in spite of how you feel. Can you right now.

00:46:22.599 --> 00:46:25.400
Heads bowed. I'm not looking. I'm not looking

00:46:25.400 --> 00:46:28.800
for hands. I'm not counting anything. I'm just

00:46:28.800 --> 00:46:33.460
between you and the Lord. To get your soul right.

00:46:36.300 --> 00:46:39.320
Do what Erica did. What an example on the world

00:46:39.320 --> 00:46:45.539
stage. And she said because of Christ. Because

00:46:45.539 --> 00:46:48.650
of what he did. That's why we do this and it's

00:46:48.650 --> 00:46:51.150
why we can. We are blessed. We're empowered to

00:46:51.150 --> 00:46:55.349
succeed in this. So if that's you, would you

00:46:55.349 --> 00:46:57.590
just do that between you and God? You want to

00:46:57.590 --> 00:47:00.769
do it out loud? Between you and the Lord, I just

00:47:00.769 --> 00:47:14.250
want you free. He wants you free. Father, His

00:47:14.250 --> 00:47:18.269
grace is being extended and received. His forgiveness

00:47:18.269 --> 00:47:21.789
is being extended and received. Father, thank

00:47:21.789 --> 00:47:25.190
You that You now empower us to succeed in terms

00:47:25.190 --> 00:47:28.389
of forgiving others and stepping out into places

00:47:28.389 --> 00:47:31.670
that we've been afraid to step into. And I trust

00:47:31.670 --> 00:47:35.269
You in every decision that's been made here this

00:47:35.269 --> 00:47:39.570
morning and everything that You're doing. Father,

00:47:39.630 --> 00:47:42.070
Annette and I don't sit up here as... got it

00:47:42.070 --> 00:47:44.969
all together, or as a model, we're up here saying,

00:47:45.150 --> 00:47:49.610
here's our stuff. Here's our mess. First of all,

00:47:49.630 --> 00:47:52.829
we're in the same boat as you. Second of all,

00:47:52.949 --> 00:47:56.449
God is good all the time. All the time, God is

00:47:56.449 --> 00:48:00.610
good. And we trust you, Lord. We honor you in

00:48:00.610 --> 00:48:02.829
it. In Jesus' name, God's people said.